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Perfection isn't always how it seems

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#1 noley


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Posted 11 October 2017 - 07:50 PM

Perfect. The word the young girl had grown up living by. The perfect home. The perfect family. The perfect body. The perfect mind. The perfect life. When it came to the girl, only perfection was acceptable.

One day, after a perfect meal with her perfect family, the girl went up to her perfect room. She lay on her perfectly made bed and went on her phone. There, she saw perfect models, beautiful and stunning in every way. She got up and walked to her mirror. She stood there for a good hour or so, just staring. Then, she went back over to her perfect bed and laid there staying at the perfectly white ceiling. The girl sat up and went back to her phone. Just a moment later, it came tumbling to the ground. She buried her face in her hands as she processed what she had just seen. The tears came flowing soon, all across her perfect face. On the floor, her phone shone brightly white, the words “Ugly AF” easily outshone the white.

The next morning the girl awoke with bags under her eyes. She walked back over to the mirror and saw nothing similar to what she had seen the day before. She got ready halffast, not caring how sloppily she had done it. As she walked downstairs, she saw her normal family moving about happily as usual. Her mom asked if she was hungry for breakfast, and she just shook her head as she grabbed her lunch and was off to school. Soon came lunch. As she sat with her friends and looked down at the food in front of her, nothing seemed appealing. The trash is the next place that food went. That night, when it was time for dinner, she simply told her mom she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to go to bed. There, she lay looking at that white ceiling, her cheeks and pillow soaked with tears.

A few months later, it was an ordinary day for school, and the girl was dressing out for PE. Her friend came up to her and told her that her waist dips in a lot, and that it looked really unhealthy. She just brushed her off and said it was nothing. That night at dinner, she barely touched any of her food, her parents didn’t notice, they had other things to worry about. After, she went up to her room where she opened the small book hidden under her mattress. As she read through some of the recent entries, once again filled her eyes. She finally set it down, and took a makeup wipe and wiped away all the mascara stains and foundation away, the things her mom told her that she needed so badly. It soon became late and she crept downstairs, there in a cupboard, she found a bottle of pain relieving  pills. The girl carried them up to her room and looked at them for a good long while. Could it possibly help her pain? She fell asleep at her desk, staring at the pills.

The next day, the girl’s friends decided to have a chat with her. They were clearly had something important to talk about. That’s who told her that she was truly perfect just the way she was. Not like that perfect family who told her she needed to do her hair and makeup and that she was fat. Her friends were the ones who helped her get through this, after all, they were going through some of the same things as her. She soon was eating again, and happy to be here. Her friends were the reason she still is here today, they were more than a family any family could be to the girl. She had finally found her perfection.


#2 Jrax16


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Posted 13 October 2017 - 05:59 PM

PERFECT: don't aim for it

#3 Chloe Kleine

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    Almost finished editing the first novel I want to publish.
    Do please take a look at my new query : RED MOON

Posted 16 October 2017 - 09:24 PM

Noley - not sure what this is. 

If it's meant to be a query, you can post it in the query critique forum.

If it's meant to be a synopsis, try the synopsis critique forum.

This forum is for general questions, but you've not asked one...

Meanwhile, I suggest you use a more standard font than the one you've used, for whatever it is your aiming to achieve.

Good luck!

Please critique my query, and I will return the favour!



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