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SHADOWMAN'S GAME - #SFFpit - CLOSED

Young Adult Fiction Fantasy

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#1 Nessa

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Posted 12 December 2017 - 12:04 PM

Project shelved. Please don't critique.


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#2 Niambi

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Posted 15 December 2017 - 07:27 PM

I saw your pitch on #SFFpit!

 

I love this one:

 

"She’s a teenager being hunted by vengeful creatures who claim she betrayed them.
He’s a villain who terrorized the world of urban myths.

They’re the same person—but from different lifetimes."

 

But I think you should include Ana's name and maybe her former name as well.  Also, I'd love to know some more of the conflict going on and what Ana wants as the MC.



#3 Nessa

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 11:54 AM

Thanks, Niambi! I saw your Tweets as well, assuming somebody hasn't stolen your avatar photo. :) Congrats on the likes!
 
I also really liked the one you pointed out, but as you said, there's no conflict. It got 0 likes. But the first 2 got likes, so it all balances out in the end. :D
 
Best of luck with your submissions!

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#4 Niambi

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 03:02 PM

Thanks and same to you!



#5 bookgirl_kt

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Posted 19 July 2018 - 09:40 AM

DARKEST PART OF FOREST + YOUNG ELITES

A reincarnated villain w/ no memories of her past must prove herself an allyor be executed. All-female hunting squad & video game influences

This is my favorite because of how short it is. I think it could be even shorter; the second sentence didn't grab my attention an imagination like the first one.

 

 

DARKEST PART OF FOREST + YOUNG ELITES

Ana is innocent, but her soul isn’t.

She’s the reincarnation of a man who terrorized the world of urban myths.

If she doesn’t prove herself untainted by her previous life, she’ll be executed.

Good, but not quite as catchy and imagination-grabbing as the similar one second-to-next.

 

She’s a teenager being hunted by vengeful creatures who claim she betrayed them.

He’s a villain who terrorized the world of urban myths.

They’re the same personbut from different lifetimes.

This is different from the others and I like it. I think it could be shortened, though. (You might cut "from different lifetimes" since I don't know enough about the book to know what that means.)

 

DARKEST PART OF FOREST + YOUNG ELITES

Reincarnated villain w/ amnesia must prove herself a blank slate, untouched by her terrible past.

Failure = execution.

She seeks help of kickass all-female hunting squad & falls in love.

I'd move the comps last, since I haven't heard of them. Also a good one.

 

A reincarnated villain w/ amnesia must prove herself a changed person.

Then memories return in the form of painful emotions: heart-shattering betrayal and forsaken righteousness.

Maybe she never was the bad guy

This is probably my second fave. It gets a lot across in a few words.







Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Young Adult, Fiction, Fantasy

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