Thank's everyone. All of your help have been outstanding. Here's what I have so far.
Kadan regrets his growing restlessness at his father’s imposed solitude when Torlan and his clan of ninjas attack him. Left for dead, Kadan makes his way to his home to discover that his father‘s been murdered, and all seems lost — until he’s saved by a rival ninja clan. You can cut down this first paragraph a lot to make it clearer and punchier. I think you just need to show that Kadan's father is killed, and Kadan is taken in by a rival clan. Everything else is extraneous info.
After Kadan reads (How does he get this letter? If possible, connect it to the prior events more. "After the rival clan gives him a letter..." etc.) a letter left by his father,
his preconceived notions of the man he grew up is shaken. He learns the attack was retribution against his father for sequestering Kadan from a human genetic experiment performed two decades ago. (Reword this to make it clearer that Kadan is genetical engineered) Filled with an unquenchable thirst for vengeance, (Simplify this to and caught between two ninja clans, Kadan decides to join his rescuers. When the enemy discovers Kadan is still alive and is the sole survivor of the long dead experiment, they will stop at nothing to get their hands on him. Only after Kadan has another disastrous confrontation with Torlan that nearly kills him again, does he admit that his father’s training is incomplete.Kadan must master the clan’s specialized skill, the Void — a meditative state of mind that allows a person to transcend the limits of human physical ability — if he has any hope of survival and achieving his goal. (Interesting!)
Kadan soon realizes that on his journey, he must overcome the mistrust of a clan of ninjas, and a spy that will bring them to the brink of destruction. He will have to decide if he will have to settle for a life of hiding, or if vengeance is worth losing himself to the darker nature of the Void.
FINDING THE VOID is a 120,000 (20K words wouldn't be TOO hard to cut, if possible) word, adventure novel that incorporates elements from Japanese mythology and Ninja historical fact
s. It is set in modern New England.It will appeal to fans of the Night Angel trilogy and Sigma Force series. I graduated with a bachelor in Biology, and currently hold the rank of 9th Kyu in Bujinkan, a martial arts specializing in ninjutsu, (nice bio!) one of the main topics of this novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.
I think you can cut out a lot of extra information here. For example, as far as I can tell, his distrust of the rival clan doesn't seem important for the purpose of the query, since the main conflict is between Kadan's desire for revenge and the dark side of the Void. The genetic engineering probably isn't strictly necessary either. On the other hand, I think you should focus more on the Void. It's an intriguing idea, and I'd love to see more of why Kadan feels conflicted! Does it drive you into a murderous rage, erode your sanity, etc. Is there a particular event that leads Kadan to realize there's a dark side?