Happy New Year, everyone!
To celebrate, I thought I'd put up something fun to play with, where we treat the Beatles' song "Paperback Writer" as if it were an actual query. Every time I hear that song, I always think about what a terrible way it is to get something published. So, how this works is that I have the lyrics posted below. Feel free to point out things that just wouldn't fly when actually sending things out (ignoring the fact that this is a song, like that it's written in verse and the repetition of "Paperback Writer"). As people mention stuff, I'll update them on the lyrics in this post, so it's easy to see what's been mentioned. Try to limit your suggestions to only one or two at a time, so that other people also have a chance to find things. Hopefully this will be a fun exercise that allows us to hone our query skills, while also totally ripping something apart without worrying about hurt feelings (sorry, John and Paul). I'll start off by pointing out one flaw, and feel free to jump in.
Dear Sir or Madam, [lnloft: not personalizing to a specific person is a big no-no]
It took me years to write, will you take a look? [Nessa: unnecessary information]
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear,
And I need a job,
So I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
And his clinging wife doesn't understand.
His son is working for the Daily Mail
It's a steady job,
But he wants to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
Paperback writer, paperback writer.
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I could make it longer if you like the style.
I can change it 'round,
And I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
It could make a million for you overnight.
If you must return it you can send it here,
But I need a break,
And I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.
Paperback writer, paperback writer.
Paperback writer, paperback writer.
Paperback writer, paperback writer.
Paperback writer...
And just in case you also wanted to listen to the song:
Enjoy!
