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Chapter+ Critique--- YA Fantasy


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#1 sereneew

sereneew

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 12:54 AM

Hey Everyone, 

 

I'm looking for someone who's interested in swapping chapters. We can start with one and see if we're the right fit for each other. My MS has been edit by a freelance editor, but I still feel like there's a couple plot holes and even may lack voice. ( Even though it has plenty of details, I still feel the voice isn't quite spot on. I may just be paranoid, but it wouldn't hurt to get more opinions.)  You can PM if you're interested. 

 

My Query: 

 

 

Seventeen-year-old Norvina doesn’t look dangerous. Definitely not someone you'd expect to slaughter a squad of super-villains with just fire and a stick.

 

In a city governed by a mayor who calls himself Black Death, getting super powers is a plus. Unless you're like Norvina and want to fight the super-villains that Black Death controls. Then it's pretty much a death sentence. 

 

When Norvina is attacked by thieves, her adrenaline triggers a mutation in her DNA. Gifted with power over fire, she roasts the muggers but attracts the attention of some bloodthirsty freaks. Only the last minute rescue by a young man named Vulcan saves her from being butchered by the ferocious freaks. Vulcan, Black Death’s ruthless son, wants to destroy his father.  Norvina is hell-bent on staying alive. She knows the execution of super-villains will keep her alive, but the journey will lead to a definite death. But she’s headstrong and possesses a kick-ass persona and ally's with Vulcan.

 

With law enforcement and flesh-feeding villains attacking her at every corner, Norvina learns a daunting fact: Black Death and the government plan to mobilize an army of super-villains to take over more than just the city. Millions of lives hang in the balance. Norvina realizes she must do the unforgivable: She will have to become a badass villain to survive.

 

 

Thanks.


If I helped please leave a feedback on my YA FANTASY QUERY http://agentquerycon...st-50/?p=350935


#2 sereneew

sereneew

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Posted 06 January 2018 - 06:05 PM

.


If I helped please leave a feedback on my YA FANTASY QUERY http://agentquerycon...st-50/?p=350935





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