I just cleaned it up a bit. Revision #8
Seventeen-year-old Piper wants nothing more than for life to go back to the way things were ten years ago. Before the Others attacked Earth without warning, leaving behind flattened cities and a shattered government. Now, after years of rebuilding what they destroyed, Piper farms, hunts and scavenges to put food on the table. And every day she stares up at the sky and wonders if they’ll ever be back.
When the newly-reformed government shows up unannounced and reinstates the draft, taking Piper and her friends away, she knows her isolated town will suffer without the extra hands to help. But Piper is determined to serve her time, hoping she can rise quickly through the ranks and send money home.
In basic training, rumors stir of the Resistance: an underground group planning a revolt against the government. They claim the government is holding back progress to control its citizens. At first, Piper and her friends vow to protect their families and town from these rebels. But her instructor, a man she’s fallen in love with (irrelevant since it's not a romance novel), reveals he’s a spy for the Resistance and how all three are connected: the Resistance, the government and the truth of what really happened to the Others. He asks her to join and fight against the government control.
Now Piper has to choose: if she says no
to the man she loves,she’ll l ose him andstay a slave to the government. If she says yes and joins the Resistance, she’ll help start another war, and orchestrate the return of the Others. (ok, but what's the novel about?)
BLACK STARS FALLING is a YA sci-fi complete at 93,000 words. It is a standalone with potential series.
After finishing the query, I don't know what the novel is about. What happens after she agrees to join the rebels? (or if she disagrees?) But I think that what's really missing in this query is the voice.
thank you for commenting ion my query, I'd appreciate it if you took another look at it, here