My Query for my Y/A Dystopia novel. Appreciate all feedback, and will reciprocate any help I get.
ELITE GENERATION: ECLIPSE is a YA/Science Fiction novel of 85,000 words, a unique cross between Ender's Game, Lord of the Flies, and Machiavelli's The Prince, and is Part 1 of 3 in a long-arc tragedy that is subtly revealed to be a villain origin story.
Merciless with her sniper rifle, keen to the manipulations of the other competitors, and driven by her mission for justice, the sixteen-year-old orphan Eclipse thought she was ready for the simulated warzone of Camp Overlord. But when she finds a companion who for the first time causes her to question whether she is fighting for justice or revenge, and if she can leave the camp with more of a soul than she entered it with.
As a dark voice constantly edges her towards violence in the name of justice, Eclipse becomes a deadly and merciless soldier in the Camp Overlord at the cost of self-imposed isolation. But Eclipse doesn’t need the approval of her fellow teammates; all she cares about is being noticed by the Academy, which uses the camp as a test to filter out the powerful from the powerless, subsequently training those who succeed to be Commanders in the greater World War. Only as a Commander can Eclipse have the power to exact justice on those who stole her family from her. Nothing could be more important than that.
While Eclipse’s initial ruthlessness might suit the Academy, she is gnawed by a deepening loneliness. But when she finds love in an unlikely friend, a new voice is born in Eclipse’s mind, one that urges her away from the violence and towards mercy.
As her illusion of justice slowly breaks, Eclipse is forced to make a choice. She can follow the dark voice, and let herself be consumed by the rage of vengeance, or listen to the light and reach out towards her only chance at true peace.
ELITE GENERATION: ECLIPSE will appeal to high school students who drawn to the those characters who subvert tradition good-evil dichotomies in their novels, and wonder about the events and decisions that ultimately create our most dangerous leaders. As a story arc, part one focus’ on the creation of tension between mercy and vengeance in Eclipse’s mind, part 2 focus’ on the gradual rise of mercy, while part three details her violent and tragic downfall. All three parts are available upon request.
Thank you for your consideration,