Well, I had one of my beta readers read my query, and even he was getting confused in parts. Which, I took as an extra bad sign. So, here's the newest revision :) Hopefully everything is much more clear-cut?
Again, you've all given me such helpful advice and suggestions so far, and I'm so grateful to have found this writing community!
Briella Forthyss planned to spend her last college months finalizing medical school plans and competing for a cross country championship. Instead, she’s hiding an assassin-turned-fugitive from another world.
When Briella encounters three dead bodies by the woods, she immediately reports them to police. She never thought she would literally run into the prime suspect of this crime: A striking, enigmatic man named Dusk. She’s drawn to his mystique, and a cautious relationship blooms. He convinces her that he’s innocent, and asks for help surviving in her town until he can get back home. Briella agrees, never one to turn away someone in need.
Consequently, local police show up at her doorstep. Soon after, a poisoned arrow narrowly misses Briella’s head, and Dusk finally confesses to her. He’s part elf and demon, exiled from his world for killing a prominent figure. Now, Zeyvn, a bounty hunter from their world, has been sent to bring Dusk back in chains, or even better, headless. Accusing her of guilt by association, Zeyvn is happy to take Briella instead, dead or alive, if she won’t give Dusk up.
Dusk assures her they’ll get through this together. But she’s not so sure she trusts the man who knowingly got her into this mess. Yet, handing Dusk over to Zeyvn could get her imprisoned in their world, or killed. One wrong move or word could see her medical future, athletic dreams, or her life snuffed out.
NIGHTSWORN is complete at 98,000 words, and is a dual-POV adult contemporary urban fantasy, with elements of romance and high fantasy. I am querying you because (something customized to said agent here)
Thank you for your time and consideration.