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The Things You Can't Imagine - New version from 1 POV


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#101 RegE

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Posted 05 June 2018 - 09:40 PM

Do you think I need a bridge between Ka-la thinking ACCORD are good then discovering they are bad? Soomething like ..It becomes clear ACCORD are not the benevelent force Ka-la believed when.....

 

When Princess Ka-la’s ancestor, Ama, descended from space millenia ago, he brought the Star Gardens with him. The imagination-fueled technology makes everything possible. Travelling through time, birthing stars and communicating with other worlds are all just a thought away.

 

Ka-la is sure Star Gardens are a myth, until her brother, Shamash, discovers one. ACCORD--a mysterious, technocratic organization--declare that Shamash is the prophesied Saviour. To Ka-la, Shamash is a cowardly sludge slug who stumbled upon the Star Gardens by mistake, but ACCORD knows best. After all, they saved civilization when it was on the brink of destruction.

When Shamash kills their father to become ruler, Ka-la vows to spill her brother’s brains. Now, with Shamash as their proxy, ACCORD have unbridled power. They
 use the Star Garden to threaten the annihilation of a newly discovered world. Only Ka-la possesses the weapon that can stop them. True imagination. But first, she must understand the nefarious, alien force at ACCORD’s helm.

 

The answers lie in an ancient relic on Ama’s home-world, Planet Earth.

 

Told from the perspective of Ama in the ancient past, Ka-la in the distant future and Leo on present-day Earth. Complete at ___ (Name) will appeal to fans of Jeff Vandermeer’s Borne, Charlie Jane Ander’s All the Birds in the Sky, and Melvin Burgess’s Bloodtide. (Name) is a science fantasy novel and it is the first in a potential series.



#102 yawriter

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Posted 06 June 2018 - 06:57 PM

First off, thank you for your help on my query 

 

When Princess Ka-la’s ancestor, Ama, descended from space millenia ago, he brought the Star Gardens with him. The imagination-fueled technology makes everything possible. Travelling through time, birthing stars and communicating with other worlds are all just a thought away.The only thing that bugs me is saying "Ka-la" I don't know who that is or if it's an entire race. I think Ama is the most important person here... I'm assuming, since I haven't read it all yet. 

 

Ka-la is sure Star Gardens are a myth, until her brother, Shamash, discovers one. ACCORD-The capitalization of this makes me think it's an acronym...I think the "A mysterious," is your attempt at the explanation, but it's not clear and I don't see how it relates to the word accord...-a mysterious, technocratic organization--declare that Shamash is the prophesied Saviour. To Ka-la, Shamash is a cowardly sludge slug who stumbled upon the Star Gardens by mistake, but ACCORD knows best. After all, they saved civilization when it was on the brink of destruction.

When Shamash kills their father to become ruler, Ka-la vows to spill her brother’s brains. Now, with Shamash as their proxy, ACCORD have unbridled power. They use the Star Garden to threaten the annihilation of a newly discovered world. Only Ka-la possesses the weapon that can stop them. True imagination. Isn't all imagination "true"? What would be false imagination? I think "that can stop them...imagination" would be more impactful? But first, she must understand the nefarious, alien force at ACCORD’s helm.

 

The answers lie in an ancient relic on Ama’s home-world, Planet Earth. ​ 

 

Told from the perspective of Ama in the ancient past, Ka-la in the distant future and Leo on present-day Earth. Complete at ___ (Name) will appeal to fans of Jeff Vandermeer’s Borne, Charlie Jane Ander’s All the Birds in the Sky, and Melvin Burgess’s Bloodtide. (Name) is a science fantasy novel and it is the first in a potential series.

 

Great job! I hope this helped. 






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