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womens lit romance

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#1 AuthoringJen

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 01:28 PM

The following are the first 250 words of my recently completed novel. Any feedback is welcomed and appreciated. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I had never been punched before. My first response was shock. I couldn’t believe he’d actually hit me. Next came the searing heat of open flesh as the blood began to trickle down my face. The swelling was almost immediate, pushing my cheek up into my eye, partially obscuring my vision. For a moment, everything sounded muffled, as though I were underwater. I have to get out of here. The coiled fist connecting with my cheek had sent me reeling over, and I scrambled to my feet, running out the front door. My house was at the end of the cul-de-sac, and I ran to my left. Karen’s house was two doors over. Bill would be home at this time of night. If I could get to Karen’s, I’d be safe. 

 

I didn’t knock on the door, but burst through it, slamming it behind me and fumbling for the deadbolt. I heard Karen screaming at her kids from the kitchen, a dishtowel in her hand when she appeared at the doorway. “What in the world are you kids doing…Elle? What the hell happened?” 

 

I looked nervously through the tiny window on her front door. I was relieved that I couldn’t see Jeff in the street. “Cops…we need the cops,” I said turning back to Karen and fumbling in my pocket looking for my phone. I looked over to see the kids, Will and Sarah, sitting on the sofa, staring at me in stunned silence. Karen followed my gaze. 



#2 DisgruntledWriter

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 02:28 PM

Holy this was intense.  I don't even read women's fiction and I want to read the rest of the chapter now! It really pulls you in, and is just descriptive enough without going over board.  Good job :)



#3 AuthoringJen

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Posted 15 February 2018 - 07:56 AM

Thanks so much for checking it out, DW! I appreciate the feedback!







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