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Full MS Swap - Fantasy


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#1 Blueberry Tide

Blueberry Tide

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  • Literary Status:self-published
  • LocationUS Midwest
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Posted 26 February 2018 - 05:54 PM

I've got a 143k adult fantasy MS (query letter at the bottom of post). I'm looking for a FULL MANUSCRIPT beta swap. I want someone who will read the entire thing and give me honest feedback. I'm also looking to trim some off the word count. 

 

I will read almost anything in exchange. I'm not the best suited for gay romance, erotica, or middle grade, but I'll give those a shot if that's what you've got. 

 

As far as the beta reading itself, this isn't my first novel. I'm not looking for grammar or spelling or a line edit. I'm looking for an overall response - does it flow, does it slow down at any point, are any scenes too similar - that kind of thing. 

 

As far as my story goes, it's adult fantasy. MC is female. There is a love interest. Romance does drive some of the plot. It's a traditional high fantasy setting with mages and knights. 

 

I can use Google Docs or MS Word, although I've grown fonder of Google Docs the more I use them. 

 

PM me if you're interested. 

 

Query: 

 

Two options lay before Juniper Thimble: execution for her crimes as a thief, or service to the crown as the prince's magically bound human shield.

 

To better protect Prince Adrian, Juniper is disguised as his lover. Her true identity is known only to a handful of people within the castle, for the king suspects the threats against his son’s life are coming from within. She must act the part of a lady. She is put under the watchful eye of the lawful and mage-hating Squire Reid Sandpiper, who would sooner separate her head from her shoulders than be nice to a thief like her. However, the more time she spends with Reid, the more her feelings toward him change into affection.


Juniper’s role as a shield is put to the test when a demon attacks the prince. His wounds transfer to Juniper. It was no ordinary monster. Only someone within the castle could have summoned a monster, and the king’s fears are true. Someone is trying to kill the prince, and nearly succeeded. Juniper’s role is no longer about simply protecting him, but surviving.

 

Only a powerful mage could have summoned the demon, and to find him, Knights of the Order march through the halls day and night with permission to kill the apostate on sight. With servants going missing and demons appearing out of nowhere, the entire castle in on edge.

 

After the attack, Juniper takes it upon herself to find the apostate, before another attack kills her. The more she and Reid discover, the less the evidence adds up – something is wrong.

 

With servants vanishing and demons lurking in the shadows, the castle is no longer safe. Juniper, as well as the friends she’s made, are all in danger. To save her own life, and everyone else’s, she must find the truth behind the attacks and stop the attacker before it kills her.  

 





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