Just finished the second draft of my first novel and in desperate need of fresh pair of eyes so I can get on with the next draft. Would love any kind of feedback. Narrative voice, grammar... anything. And will gladly return the favor.
He'd been terrified when he accepted the offer. He’d been terrified because they'd already taken his sister. And he’d been terrified because there were a thousand subreddits about the island and ninety percent of them were steeped in terrifying conspiracy theories. It sounded too good to be true. No one gave that much away without wanting something in return and Derrick had nothing. So, he’d been convinced it was all a lie, designed to lure people like him and his sister into some new hell. Now, seeing it with his own eyes, Derrick wasn't so sure what to think anymore. "Sir, is something the matter?" His PA drew him from his awe-struck stares out the window of the plush airport lounge. Sir? Derrick felt like laughing. Only what seemed like hours ago he'd been cleaning toilets—there weren't a lot of options in the current job climate for a seventeen-year-old with no previous experience—for laughable pay to feed his sister. Now he was riding in private jets and had his own personal assistant? It was ridiculous. Granted, the man wasn't exactly human but that just added to the insanity of it all. What’s the catch? Derrick studied him up and down then turned to the plush lounge again, the question running through his head on a perpetual loop. The PA looked very human, looked oddly like Derrick himself. They had the same tanned complexion, had similar green eyes and the same defined cheekbones— although Derrick’s were that of a gaunt, poverty-stricken teenager while the man looked like a healthy middle-age model in an expensive tuxedo.