This is only the start of a first draft but I would like opinions none the less! I tend to spend a while on each part of the book to try and make it as good as possible, but have often struggled with the first 250. All opinions welcome and I will return the favor!
This story begins with death. The death of a prince. The day was perfect for a funeral, somehow it was like the earth itself was mourning the loss with us. The cold rain hit the top of my head as I walked in the funeral procession. I didn't really notice that much. A shock of feeling and then back to numbness. I shouldn't even have been there, my long ears denoting me as a lower citizen Aos Si. Yet those ears...he had called them beautiful. He had had similar ears to mine, despite his status. Idly I looked at the delicate, short points on the rest of the guests. I shouldn't be here. Yet I couldn't be anywhere else. The man I had loved was gone, forever. It was like part of me had died with him, as if I had drowned beside him.
Relegated to the rear of the procession I found my feet had a hard time moving. It made me slow and clunky, as if I were carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. His mother, Lady Elaren, was sobbing, being supported by his brother Sahlin. I knew if I thought his name I would break. It was the last barrier between me and reality, the thing holding my shattered mind together. So I locked it away until later, just needing to get through this day. And the next. And the one after that. An endless amount of days, all without him in them.