When Lydia's love of history leads her into the crypt of a medieval castle in Transylvania, she accidentally awakens a long-dead prince infamous for cruelty and bloodlust, Vlad Dracula. But Vlad wants more than her blood [ambiguous in it's implications. Does he really want her blood? Did he already get a taste? it could be worded more clearly either way: But Vlad stops, his fangs hovering over her neck as he offers a to spare her life...] : he'll spare her life if she helps him reunite with his beloved undead wife.
To stop him from sinking his fangs into her, Lydia accepts the bargain. Instead of the brutal monster Lydia expects, Vlad becomes a model of fifteenth century courtesy and respect. Chivalry, apparently, is undead. But Lydia knows that darkness lurks behind his courtly façade. A student of history at Oxford, she's read accounts of the atrocities he committed centuries ago
, and worries his violent urges will turn on her next. As the search for his wife stretches on, Vlad's patience wears thin. Lydia will have to combine her historical research skills with savvy internet stalking and face-recognition software in order to find this mysterious woman. If Vlad's patience runs out, Lydia might become another of his many victims. [the real problems with these sentences is that they're redundant and out of order. Suggest leading with Lydia's credentials and then giving a sense of time and maybe cutting unnecessary backstory]
Talking fast, Lydia accepts the bargain citing modern research skills. Intrigued by her fearful babbling about internet stalking and face-recognition software, Vlad becomes a model of fifteenth century courtesy and respect. Chivalry, apparently, is undead. But as her search stretches into a second week, Vlad starts reminiscing about drinking people dry before jamming severed heads on stakes. [show the darkness and impatience] Lydia, however, was stalling, afraid to tell Vlad that his wife betrayed him to his murderer. [see below]
But Lydia's search unearths
a secret better left buried: [vague] a long-ago tryst between Vlad's wife and his murderer. [this is good... feels like it needs more drive though. Maybe a sentence about how she's afraid to deliver this bad news without some sort of good news. That sentence could end up on the end of the last paragraph... added a suggestion above] Far from achieving eternal domestic bliss for Vlad, the consequences are deadlier than Lydia or Vlad could ever imagine. [Vague. You could replace this sentence with two that actually contain some juicy hints about the conclusion of the story without giving it all away (do that in the synopsis). As is, it's meant to seal reader interest and doesn't really say anything besides, "It gets really good from there on, but I'm not telling you how!"]
THE VAMPIRE'S WIFE is adult paranormal fiction with strong historical and romantic elements, focusing on Vlad the Impaler, the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula character. Complete at 83,000 words, the novel is a dual narrative; it alternates between Lydia's modern world and Vlad's medieval existence.
Hope this helps, Good luck!