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Red Initiate Hook, High Fantasy

Fiction Fantasy

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#1 mkuriel


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Posted 12 March 2018 - 10:08 PM

125 Characters:

A paranoid genius must sacrifice his only friend in order to receive the training needed to master his magic. #Adult #Fantasy


199 Characters:

After the girl of his dreams discovers Red's secret, he must choose between the only voice he can trust and the training needed to master his ability to control the energy of creation. #Adult #Fantasy

#2 rhwashere


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Posted Yesterday, 10:57 PM

I think your first pitch is much clearer. The second is confusing and I start to glaze over after “only voice he can trust”. That phrase doesn’t make sense without context, and neither does the rest that follows it.

Please feel free to critique my query: http://agentquerycon...eep-ya-fantasy/

Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Fiction, Fantasy

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