REVISION IN POST #8
Hello All. This is my very first post, so I hope I've followed all the rules... I'm looking for critiques on my query letter. I'm happy to reciprocate!
Dear (Agent), Raquel Alexander is the first Soleian to possess all three powers of Light: She can Heal wounds, Calm minds and Protect life. Her father believed her to be touched by the divine, chosen for greatness. Except she can't be, because, for all her powers, she wasn't blessed with the simplest of human traits—courage. And only the bravest could've saved Raquel's dad from the soul-devouring Devati Shadows. Raquel isn't divine. She's cursed. And it's this wretched "curse" that made her run when her dad needed her to fight. Raquel is hell-bent on joining the elite Soleian Guard—soldiers charged with Protecting the human race from the Devati Shadows—and conquering her crippling fear (and, dare she say it, avenge her father's death). But during her inaugural hunt, her plans for redemption crumble when her dad appears: alive, and working for the enemy. Even worse, he's colluding with the Devati Commander, and they have their greedy sights set on stealing Raquel's powers. When the Commander kidnaps Raquel's sister, Ella, Raquel is forced to venture into the grisly Shadow World, a realm stewing with dark bargains, deadly games, and unlimited power. To find Ella, Raquel will have to summon the courage to confront her father's shady past, follow the trail of clues he left behind, and defeat the Shadows on their own turf. And she'll have to do it without succumbing to the temptations of power and glory that lured her dad. If she fails, she'll lose Ella, and maybe even herself, forever. WHEN SHADOWS REFUSE TO FADE is a YA Fantasy, complete at 84,000 words, that will appeal to readers who loved (I'm still working on my comps). A full or partial manuscript is available upon request. I am writing to you because XXX. Thank you for your time and consideration. I have included XXX. Sincerely,
Thank you all in advance. I'm excited to connect here!