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Love and War

Fiction Gay Lesbian Romance

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#21 jpfranco


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Posted 24 June 2018 - 04:45 PM

UPDATED QUERY.  This takes into account suggestions here and today's work with the writer's workshop I'm in...they really gave me some good stuff so I'm heading into revisions on the book soon based on today's session.  Thoughts?




Kevin Sorenson’s in love and it’s all Shakespeare’s fault.  This is good. Kevin’s an English teacher at a Catholic high school in Omaha, Nebraska, and if he hadn’t been asked to take over the fall play, he’d have never met Chad, who runs the costume shop in the Old Market. This is too much explaning. I would be happier to see him noticing Chad at a rehearsal. The Catholic thing is obviously crucial to the story here, but I think you can get away with something like: The drama teacher at *whatever the school's very Catholic name is* in Omaha Nebraska, insert reason said teacher can't do the play, finish with Kevin being recruited.


Where Chad is open about being gay, Kevin is reserved.  Being a devoted Catholic, Kevin is careful who knows he’s gay.  You might consider re-working these two sentences. But Chad’s confidence is attractive and the two quickly become friends.  When Kevin realizes he feels more for Chad than friendship, he keeps his feelings buried. When Chad finally confesses that he’s in love, and Kevin finds himself struggling between his faith and his love for Chad.  He knows the rules at work and if he’s caught with Chad romantically, he’s out of a job. 


Faced with the possibility of losing Chad, You may want to change this to include some of Chad's character here. How is he handling it? Does he even know Kevin is struggling? Is he angry? Sad? Threatening to leave if he's forced back in the closet? (and who could blame him) Kevin has to decide what’s more important: his faith or being who he really is.  It’s a decision that has consequences oof, no. and Kevin’s not sure he’s prepared to face any of them. This part could go, to. The stakes are clear with the first sentence. 


I'm all about human struggles, it makes for a very interesting story. I'm rooting for Chad and Kevin. Good Luck!


Love and War is a contemporary LGBTQ romance complete at ____ words.  Thank you for your time and consideration.   

Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Fiction, Gay Lesbian, Romance

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