OK, most recent attempt to improve.
At forty-three Henry’s irresponsible, hedonistic lifestyle has finally caught up with him: he’s lost the one man he over loved; to punish himself, he’s screwing a woman he hates. And one of his literature students, Marc, just chose him to be the father figure Marc desperately needs. (This is a lot messier than your previous hook. Weird semicolon in there too. How about:
Forty-three-year-old Henry's irresponsible, hedonistic lifestyle has finally caught up to him. After losing the only man he's ever loved, Henry punishes himself by screwing a woman he hates, but every time he feels emptier inside. All that changes when Marc, one of Henry's literature students, chooses him as a father-figure.
^prob a little messy but just an example!
Despite his own troubles Henry, a professor, coaxes from Marc the reason he comes to office hours, over and over, yet barely speaks. It’s all about an obscure book Marc’s parents read to him repeatedly when he was a child. That same book, the story of a boy abused by his parents, is among those in Henry's bookshelf.
In a bizarre and tenuous fashion
, (seems wordy) that Henry can’t grasp, Marc has taken the story of the book boy as his own, and he suffers accordingly. (Suffers how and why? We need more here) Henry knows Marc needs serious help, so he urges him to see a professional, to see anyone, really, more qualified than himself.
Because for the first time ever, Henry feels abandoned and despised. He isn’t eating, he isn’t clubbing. However, when Henry finds Marc calling his personal phone, huddling at his doorstep, he is beginning to grasp that Marc won’t take help from anyone else. He is letting Marc inside, and giving him hot tea. Exhausted from his own odious and sleepless nights, Henry is making Marc an expected promise: I will help you. Henry just hopes he actually can. (Eh... this paragraph is a little messy and seems extraneous, like in the detail of hot tea and the phone and stuff)
LOVE [not real title] is a 100,000-word literary novel. Author bio, comps, etc.
Imma rewrite your query, take what you like and leave what you don't! :P
Forty-three-year-old Henry's irresponsible, hedonistic lifestyle has finally caught up to him. After losing the only man he's ever loved, he drowns himself in sex and booze. All that changes when Marc, one of Henry's literature students, walks into his office and asks for help.
Marc is troubled by an obscure book his parents read him repeatedly when he was a child. That same book, the story of a boy abused by his parents, is among those on Henry's shelf. Marc has adopted the story as his own, causing him to have deep-rooted psychological issues: he stops speaking in class, he's contemplating suicide, and the only person he confides in is Henry. But Henry is only a literature teacher, not a trained mental health professional, so he doesn't know how to help Marc. Plus, Henry has his own problems to deal with, like the fact that he's stopped eating and can't sleep.
But when Marc shows up on Henry's doorstep in the middle of the night, Henry realizes that Marc won't accept help from anyone else. If Henry can't put aside his issues and find a way to help Marc, it could cost Marc his life.
^I know the flow is all over the place and it's very bare-bones BUT I just wanted to help you streamline things a little. Hope it helps! Also, in response to Inloft's review, I personally never got romance vibes from this story. The use of the word "coax" made me uncomfortable before but the tone always suggested to me that this is a story about an adult helping save a teenager's life.