So my concern is not so much for a hook as it is for twitter pitch. I had some examples and I'd like to see if they're enticing or if the hit all the bases for a good pitch. Please, comment below for any input of suggestions!
1) Children disappear every year in Fairhaven with one connection: a woman. A woman with a painted face detective Ed Keegan has seen before as a kid. If Ed backs off the case now, he’ll be spared the danger. If he doesn't he may learn about the town's bloody history
2) More girls are found dead in the swamp-surrounded town of Fairhaven, Fl. Detective Ed Keegan takes in the last victim's pet raven who repeats its owner's last words. Words that suggest the victim knew their killer -- a person who Ed himself knows.
3) Detective Ed Keegan can't believe it when the only witness to his recent murder case is a raven. He doesn't expect the bird to talk to him, much less in its deceased owner's voice. But listening to the bird may save him from being the next victim.