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Twitter Pitch for horror

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#1 mojicanpuertorican


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Posted 20 May 2018 - 01:53 PM

So my concern is not so much for a hook as it is for twitter pitch. I had some examples and I'd like to see if they're enticing or if the hit all the bases for a good pitch. Please, comment below for any input of suggestions!



1) Children disappear every year in Fairhaven with one connection: a woman. A woman with a painted face detective Ed Keegan has seen before as a kid. If Ed backs off the case now, he’ll be spared the danger. If he doesn't he may learn about the town's bloody history


2) More girls are found dead in the swamp-surrounded town of Fairhaven, Fl. Detective Ed Keegan takes in the last victim's pet raven who repeats its owner's last words. Words that suggest the victim knew their killer -- a person who Ed himself knows.


3) Detective Ed Keegan can't believe it when the only witness to his recent murder case is a raven. He doesn't expect the bird to talk to him, much less in its deceased owner's voice. But listening to the bird may save him from being the next victim.

#2 Blueberry Tide

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Posted 29 May 2018 - 10:00 AM

Of those three - I like 3 most, 2 second. 1 is trying to say too much, and none of it is exciting. The raven angle is interesting, and I would keep that. 

#3 ajaponte4


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Posted 29 May 2018 - 01:27 PM

3 is by far my favorite, It was interesting The other two just felt awkward.

#4 smithgirl



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Posted 21 June 2018 - 01:49 PM

I think 3 is the best.

Oh, I see this post is really old! Sorry!

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