Would love to get some feedback on my query, and, of course, I'll happily return the favor.
New version here (post #31) http://agentquerycon...ntasy/?p=358150
The human side of Carla Dubrov wants two things: save Jason D’Cartey and silence her Shadow self forever. The Shadow within her also wants two things: drop the bastard and shut her human side up for good.
Between the two, Carla’s human side has the tougher mission. She’s up against the assassins her monster of a father sends to eliminate Jason, son of his sworn enemy. Up against Jason’s mistrust, which makes keeping his ungrateful, perfect butt alive difficult. Against her freaking feelings for him—yep, that happened. And dear Lord … the voice in her head that won’t stop yammering, making her doubt her sanity every step of the way.
Her Shadow’s mission: piece of cake. Screw with the bitch’s head—because that’s what a Shadow does, gets inside a pitiful human’s head. Seize control—because once you’re in, you’re in control, and once in control you can get the sniveling little thing do whatever the hell you want. Help get lover boy killed—because that’s what it’ll take to rip her human side to shreds and put her six feet under once and for all. Reunite with beloved father—because he’s the only one who truly appreciates her killer talents. Kill everyone in their path to absolute power. In that order.
The only reason Carla—all of her—still breathes is because of Jason’s brother’s sacrifice. Had he not given his life to save hers two hundred years ago, Carla’s father would have killed her—both of her—for falling in love with a Luminary, and thus betraying her kind.
If her human side fails, welcome death, her’s, Jason’s. If her Shadow side succeeds, farewell redemption.
So may her best self win.
This story isn’t about Vlad Tepes, we all heard that story before. This story is about his closest and most trustful adviser, the leader of the Shadows. Well, okay, okay … not about him either. It’s about his daughter, Carla Dubrov. And God forbid, it’s not about vampires. It’s about the real predators. The ones that crawl their way inside your head, suck you dry of free will, and make you do their biding, kill yourself or others—or in Vlad Tepes’s case: impale people to the stake. Meet the Shadows.
But Shadows are only half the story. The other half belongs to the Luminaries, the balance keepers. Because as far as they’re concern, it’s okay to kill/impale one’s ass (literally) as long as it’s not an innocent’s ass. The whole necessary evil crap (not literally crap).
So Shadows and Luminaries have always had a fight going, but when Carla falls in love with Anthony, the son of the Luminary leader, the smoldering feuded kabooms into a full-blown war. Romeo and Julieta style, only on steroids. When their love is discovered, Carla is sentenced to death for betraying her own kind, but Anthony gives his life to save hers.
Two hundred years later, the war is still raging. So when Anthony’s brother, Jason, draws a big fat bullseye on his butt while searching for revenge, Carla has no choice but to come out of hiding. Saving Jason is her only chance at repaying Anthony’s sacrifice. But out in the open she is game once more.
And who better to serve Carla her sentence than the Shadow she was betrothed to but betrayed and left for Anthony two centuries ago.
SHADES OF DARKNESS is a young adult urban fantasy novel, complete at 77,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration,