I hate writing synopsis. I'm worried this one is a little too long (882 words), but I'm not sure what to cut. Any feedback is appreciated. I will return the favor.
REVISION IS POST 5
7-year-old SEREN MCINTYRE is heir to ASSANA MCINTYRE, the ruler of a sovereign territory called Valley-Port and an ambassador between the sentient planet, MOTHER EARTH, and humanity. Both Seren and Assana possess a strong connection to Mother Earth and Her elemental children, which allows them to manipulate the elements. However, that connection works two ways. Every time a mage like Seren uses magic, they risk being controlled by an elemental or Mother Earth Herself.
Dozens of small territories, including Valley-Port, decide to band together as one nation, the Newly Unified North Eastern State’s (NUNES) but growing difference between territories create the potential for war, something which could lead Mother Earth to rid Herself of the remaining humans.
Since local elemental spirits won’t allow Assana to leave Valley-Port, and the convention is being hosted 60 miles north by TREE-STRONG, a mage whose power rivals Assana’s, Seren, who often avoid using magic because they fear the elementals, embarks to represent Valley- accompanied two peacekeepers, DAVID and REGGIE STRONGBOW. After a day of travels, they arrive in Little Port, a town on the North Eastern border of Valley-Port. Seren meets up with their boyfriend, ERIK, who tells them about a group of strangers, Altzis, causing trouble in town with their bigoted attitudes.
A storm blows up when Seren leaves Valley-Port, but the ocean spirit is one of the few elementals Seren trusts, so they draw power from her to get through the storm. They make it to Port’s Mouth just before nightfall but are run aground by a solar barge. Seren pulls their boat out of the water to repair the damage, but can’t find a part they need. Seren makes a bargain with a local smith: retrieve a machine trapped in the GREAT SALT MARSH and he’ll make the missing part.
When Seren returns to Port’s Mouth with the machine, they’re attacked by Altzis who are trying to stop them from getting to NUNES. David and Reggie try to fight them off, but they are outnumbered ten to one. Seren draws power from a river elemental, PISCATAQUA, who takes over Seren’s body. Piscataqua uses Seren to threaten the fighting humans with a tsunami. The Altzis drop their weapons and flee. Seren wrestles their will away from the river and lowers the giant wave.
Seren, David, and Reggie travel through a hostile forest to Great Bay where they encounter a fog that the bay’s elemental claims the is a product of a machine. If Seren doesn’t destroy, he will use them to sink the ship and flood all the human towns on his shores. Seren locates a solar skiff and asks the scientist on board to turn off their machine, but they refuse. They are lying in wait for a boat full of Altzis who stole weapons and bullet proof vests, and do not believe that bays can talk. Reggie and David boars the skiff, destroy the machine and disable the engines so the stunned scientists cannot retaliate.
After a brief stop in a hostile town, Seren and the twins camp on a riverbank. Local elementals snatch Seren’s spirit from their body and put it in a bird circling an Altzi ship. They discover Erik is held captive on board while the Altzis interrogate him about Valley-Port’s elementals and their ability to defend the territory against invaders.
The elementals just want Seren to sink the ship and kill everyone on it, but Seren manages to hold them off long enough, using their might as a diversion, for David and Reggie to sneak on board and rescue Erik. Before unleashing the wrath of rivers and winds on the ship, Seren convinces the elementals to spare the children on board.
The group makes it to Merry Basin where the NUNES convention is held without further incidents, but their troubles are far from over. The delegates, a mix of mages like Seren, Altzis, scientist, and village leaders who lack magic, cannot agree on anything. The elementals Tree-Strong draws power from try leading Seren secret parts of his home, but every time they get close, Tree-Strong’s wards override the elementals and nearly get Seren killed.
The elementals and Mother Earth grow weary of the human squabbling. When disagreements lead to violence, Earth threatens to drown all the people of NUNES if they can’t keep the peace. A storm blows up. The more people fight, the stronger it gets. Waters rises when a man tries to blow up the pier where most NUNES delegates have docked their boats.
The man appears to be an Altzi, but Seren discovers Tree-Strong used magic bypass his free will and force him to deliver the explosive. Mother Earth uses Seren to give the humans an ultimatum: come to a peaceful agreement by dawn or die.
After bypassing Tree-Strong’s security and finding evidence that he engineered Altzi movement, Seren imprisons him and moderates the final discussion. The delegates vote to approve the constitution.
As the sun rises and the waters reach the door of the hall they are in. The waters recede, and a rainbow stretches across the land, a sign The Mother approves of the outcome. Seren returns home no longer afraid of their power and more confident in their ability to one day fill Assana’s shoes as an Ambassador between Earth and humanity.