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First Chapter Crit-Swap (NA Fantasy)

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#1 Quillaby


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Posted 12 June 2018 - 04:29 PM

Hi all,


I'm hoping to swap my first chapter with someone. I'm open to extending to a full MS crit-swap, but my primary concern at this stage is the first chapter.


Basic premise: Music student Eve Beatrix infects people with her emotions whenever she sings.


Basic specs: New adult, 19 y/o protagonist, fantasy, prominent romance subplot



  • I'd prefer to swap with someone who reads/writes my genre. No point me trying to paint your hard sci fi book with my fantasy romance brush! I'd just give your protagonist sparkles, replace her ship with a dragon, and make all your aliens kiss.
  • It's absolutely nothing personal if I decline a swap with you :)
  • I like to set crit deadlines
  • I'm a blunt critic
  • I don't mind if you're a hard or soft critic, just as long as you're not pulling any punches!
  • If you want to check out the first 250 words, see the link in my signature


The query:


Terrible things happen when Eve Beatrix sings. Like lulling her dad to sleep behind the wheel and causing a life-totalling car crash. It's why she hasn't so much as whistled in two months. Why she fled San Francisco's premier music academy to fade away behind a waitress apron.


But this strange power wants out, and its call is only crescendoing. Now, music haunts Eve. It wakes her up at night. Stalks her at work. Stops her in the street. And each note tells her to just give up and sing. It's an itch she's dangerously close to scratching.


Then a phantom song leads to some madman who's seconds from burning a woman alive, and Eve panics. Loudly. With a powerful scream that brings the attacker to his knees, Eve saves a life, but rips Pandora's music box wide open.


For Eve isn't the only one who knew this power would eventually claw its way out. In fact, the madman smiling up at her was counting on it.


RHAPSODY IN GRAY is a 110,000 word fantasy. Thank you for your time and consideration.




Please PM me if interested! Thank you in advance  :happy:!



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