Thank you everyone for your help, I just posted a revised query letter that addresses most of these changes. I look forward to your continued feedback and ways to improve.
Edit: Thank you TCLark and others for the revisions.
Young Will Raynor is an impulsive dreamer longing to escape an ever-industrializing Britannica and its polluted skies. With no money to his name and empty pockets, Will signs over two years of his life to the Royal Navy. He hopes for a peaceful time sailing the high seas, but his ship embarks to the island of Arcadia to patrol its vast and perilous river system. Beyond Arcadia’s pristine shore is a town on the verge of revolution. Will is stunned to learn the rumors back home are true: the island is plagued with savage Orcs.
Will’s hope for peace evaporates while sailing downriver as him and his crew are ambushed by Koko, a cunning Orc warlord. War erupts as Britannica’s iron-fisted control over the island crumbles. Koko is ruthless in battle, relentless on liberating his Orcs and a superb strategist. Will learns the Orcs are fighting for freedom, but his voice is ignored as Koko’s deranged son Wurgoth slaughters Britannica’s terrified Red Coats. Wurgoth has two goals, wrestle control of the Orcs from Koko’s powerful grip and ruthlessly purge the island of its invaders.
As Britannica’s Empire crumbles around him, Will turns to Tavington, a young upstart Captain. Will advises him of Koko’s potential weakness while the pair devise a last ditch defense. Will stands shoulder to shoulder with his friends on the battle lines knowing the girl of his dreams waits behind him. No war hero, Will is nonetheless forced to fight in hopes of bringing peace and stability back to the island. This book follows Will from his arrival on a beautiful island colony to the carnage of war - an epic tale of empire versus rebellion and a young man thrust into battle.
AGE OF EXPLORATION is a 95,000-word historical fantasy novel. I graduated from the University of Waterloo with a major in both Business and Military History. This story is a standalone novel with series potential.