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I'M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT


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#1 trickster71

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Posted 08 August 2018 - 05:02 PM

I'd much rather work on someone else's query than my own :)

 

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale.

Her abductors sell Hailey and her best friend Alyssa to a ruthless pimp. Hailey doesn’t know what they do with Jeff, her older brother, and fears she may never see him again. She is told if she tries to escape, she will be killed, along with every member of her family.

Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is cheap. Being raped and beaten becomes her new normal. She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, and a vindictive woman who oversees the girls.

As Alyssa mentally deteriorates into a shell of a person, a bond forms between Hailey and the other slaves. When one has a baby, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use it for profit. Spiraling into a deep depression, she realizes she must find a way out of this hellish world and discover what became of Jeff.  It would be better to risk death than continue a life no longer worth living.           

I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking.  Thank you for your time and consideration.


Want a more in-depth critique/edit of your query, synopsis, or MS?

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#2 taylorhale

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Posted 08 August 2018 - 06:31 PM

 

I'd much rather work on someone else's query than my own :) (SAME)

 

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale. (Would the "when formula" be stronger here? I think it might be better to start with the character. When [age] Hailey Chapman is kidnapped from a mall parking lot, she becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping back: an object for sale.)

Her abductors sell Hailey (awkward - consider:  Hailey's abductor's sell her) and her best friend Alyssa to a ruthless pimp. Hailey doesn’t know what they do with Jeff, her older brother, and fears she may never see him again. She is told if she tries to escape, she will be killed, along with every member of her family. (My initial impression was that Hailey was kidnapped alone. Maybe say "When Hailey and her friends" in the first line? I'm unsure if it matters though. Others might not be bothered by it)

Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is cheap. Being raped and beaten becomes her new normal. (Consider: In a world where human life is as cheap as ____ (something unique and relative to the life. A pack of smokes?), being raped and beaten is her new normal.) She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, and a vindictive woman who oversees the girls.

As Alyssa mentally deteriorates into a shell of a person, a bond forms between Hailey and the other slaves. When one has a baby, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use it for profit. Spiraling into a deep depression, she realizes she must find a way out of this hellish world and discover what became of Jeff. (Jeff didn't seem that important until now, even though he's her brother. Maybe bring him into the third paragraph? Does Hailey long to see her brother again while she's enduring all that hell? Does she think of him and worry about him? Adding him to the third paragraph will be a better transition into the stakes here)  It would be better to risk death than continue a life no longer worth living. (I definitely see the stakes here but I feel it lacks the emotional punch it should have. It seems obvious to me that she would want out of this life. I think we need more here. I don't know what happens in the story so I don't know what to offer you. Something needs to trigger this decision, like Alyssa dying as a result of something. Someone kills her/she dies of an overdose. Or amp up what happens with the baby if that's the actual trigger)

I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking. (Put this first, before what I highlighted pink) Thank you for your time and consideration.

 

Hi, thanks for your feedback on my query! Hope my two cents are helpful :) I would also really like to know how old Haliey is. It's not YA so I'm assuming she's in her twenties, but it might be good to specify. 



#3 jpfranco

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Posted 09 August 2018 - 02:31 PM

Well, 49 people have looked at your query, and only one has critiqued. It may be that the title is kind of shocking, or it may be that we are intimidated by your publishing experience. 

 

 

 

I'd much rather work on someone else's query than my own :)

 

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale. Perfect hook.

Her abductors sell Hailey and her best friend Alyssa to a ruthless pimp. Hailey doesn’t know what they do with Jeff, her older brother, and fears she may never see him again. So, I guess Jeff was captured, too. The fact that he's older makes me wonder exactly how old, and if he could have tried to fight. Anyway, it would draw me in more if you show the scene of the two of them being separated. She is told if she tries to escape, she will be killed, along with every member of her family. This sentence could be more active, which would draw the reader in and make the query more compelling, i.e. While they shove Hailey into a van, her attackers growl a warning... 

Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is cheap. Being raped and beaten becomes her new normal. I think you could combine these two sentences, but others will probably say to keep it short and snappy. She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, Is the owner her pimp? and a vindictive woman who oversees the girls.  Maybe think about making this sentence about the vindictive woman and how horrible she is. A little more specific, more active, and makes us feel for the poor girls

As Alyssa mentally deteriorates into a shell of a person, a bond forms between Hailey and the other slaves. When one has a baby, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use it for profit. This would be more compelling if you had Hailey overhearing their evil captors discussing the baby one night, of something similar. Infuse her horror into it. Spiraling into a deep depression,  she realizes she must find a way out of this hellish world and discover what became of Jeff.  I think you should sprinkle some Jeff into the preceding paragraph, just a mention of Hailey wondering about him, so we don't forget him in our horror over what's happening to these poor girls. It would be better to risk death than continue a life no longer worth living. I'm with her, in fact I was wondering when she was going to try to run away, I mean, it can't get any worse than what she's currently enduring.      

 

The human trafficking thing is so horrific, and most Americans had no idea how prevalent it was until recently. It sounds like you have the background to write a book like this. I don't know how attached you are to your title, but I have a feeling a publisher might want to change it, and if you send this out and don't get any bites, maybe think about changing it. 

I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking.  Thank you for your time and consideration.

 

Here's a link to my query if you have the time: http://agentquerycon...ce-revised-614/

 



#4 trickster71

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Posted 05 September 2018 - 05:21 PM

ATTEMPT #2

Thank you Taylorhale and jpfranco for you comments. They were very helpful. I had to think about this for a while before reposting. This query letter is very difficult for me, because the subject matter is so personal. The ladies I did outreach for often said how the disdain and open disgust people showed them was very hurtful -- just adding salt to an already miserable life. Hence, the title, I AM A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT. I want it to be shocking and I want it to make people THINK. :) I think I originally left out her age because I didn't want people to freak out, but it's happening every day in the US and around the world. This book is not in any way salacious. It doesn't go into any graphic sex scenes, but it doesn't sugar coat anything either. I tried to be as respectful as possible to the victims. I knew when I started writing this, the query was going to be a nightmare. The story is told by Hailey, her older brother Jeff who is at the work farm. and her eldest brother, Devon, an adopted member of the family who was a crack baby and has a learning disability. He narrates what hell the family goes through when Hailey and Jeff are gone. I can't really talk about Jeff and Devon much in the query, unless it becomes 2000 words, and well, I can't do that … lol … tempting as it is. So here is another shot at it. Thanks in advance to anyone who feels like chiming in.
Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, thirteen-year-old Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale.
Her abductors force Hailey, her best friend, Alyssa, and her older brother, Jeff into a van at gunpoint. Hailey and Alyssa are sold to a ruthless pimp. Jeff is sold to a work farm. Hailey fears she will never see him again. She is told if she tries to escape, she will be killed, along with every member of her family. It isn’t an idle threat. They have her address from an envelope found in her purse.
Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is as cheap as a pack of smokes. She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, and a vindictive woman who oversees the girls.
As Alyssa mentally deteriorates into a shell of a person, a bond forms between Hailey and the other slaves. When one has a baby, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use it for profit. Spiraling into a deep depression, she hatches a reckless plan to escape and bring as many of the other girls with her as she can – especially the baby. Chaos ensues and the body count rises. Hailey doesn’t flinch. It would be better to risk death than continue a life no longer worth living.
I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking. I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Want a more in-depth critique/edit of your query, synopsis, or MS?

Contact me at:  refugeforwriters.com

 


#5 Dollophead

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Posted 05 September 2018 - 10:02 PM

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, (age?) Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale. <-- Me like this hook

Her abductors sell Hailey and her best friend Alyssa to a ruthless pimp. [Hailey doesn’t know what they do with Jeff, her older brother, and fears she may never see him again. She is told if she tries to escape, she will be killed, along with every member of her family.] I think you can switch these last 2 sentences. Also avoid passive voice: i.e., "Hailey's abductors sell her--> Hailey's new owner tells her and her friend Alyssa that if they try to escape, they will be killed, along with every member of their families. Hailey fears she may never see her older brother Jeff again."

Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is cheap. (love this) Being raped and beaten becomes her new normal. She endures [countless indignities] this is vague phrasing. How about substituting the countless indignities for being beaten and raped? at the hands of her clients, her owner, and a vindictive woman who oversees the girls.

As Alyssa mentally deteriorates into a shell of a person, a bond forms between Hailey and the other slaves. When one has a baby, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use it for profit. Spiraling into a deep depression, she realizes she must find a way out of this hellish world and discover what became of Jeff.  It would be better to risk death than continue a life no longer worth living. We don't need to know about her spiral into depression; the description of the "hellish world" implies that her life sucks enough.

I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking.  Thank you for your time and consideration.

I would definitely read this! Your query is structured nicely, you just need to specify and fine tune and I think you'll be good to go.

Check out my query?



#6 Patomac

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 09:12 PM

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, thirteen-year-old Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale. [Tonally, I don't think this sentence matches the rest of the query. My mind hangs on the images of bathing suits and shopping bags, which both have fairly happy connotations, imo]

Her abductors force Hailey, her best friend, Alyssa, and her older brother, Jeff into a van at gunpoint. Hailey and Alyssa are sold to a ruthless pimp. Jeff is sold to a work farm. Hailey fears she will never see him again. She is told if she tries to escape, she will be killed, along with every member of her family. It isn’t an idle threat. They have her address from an envelope found in her purse.

Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is as cheap as a pack of smokes. She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, and a vindictive woman who oversees the girls.

As Alyssa mentally deteriorates into a shell of a person, a bond forms between Hailey and the other slaves. When one has a baby, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use it for profit. Spiraling into a deep depression, she hatches a reckless plan to escape and bring as many of the other girls with her as she can – especially the baby. Chaos ensues and the body count rises. Hailey doesn’t flinch. It would be better to risk death than continue a life no longer worth living. [So just in my opinion, I want to hear more about Hailey's plan to escape and what she risks if she doesn't than about the actual kidnapping and conditions of her daily life in the query. So maybe spread those details out a bit more to show us how Hailey has agency. Also, I don't think any of the actual character comes across in the query. So far, to me anyway, she's an every woman. She's not an individual.]  

I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking. I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. Thank you for your time and consideration.



#7 HarlequinWriter

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 09:57 PM

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, thirteen-year-old Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale.
Her abductors force Hailey, her best friend, Alyssa, and her older brother, Jeff into a van at gunpoint. Hailey and Alyssa are sold to a ruthless pimp. Jeff is sold to a work farm. Hailey fears she will never see him again. She is told if she tries to escape, she and every member of her family will be killed, along with every member of her family. It isn’t an idle threat. They have her address from an envelope found in her purse. 
Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is as cheap as a pack of smokes. She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, and a vindictive woman who oversees the girls. 
As Alyssa mentally deteriorates into a shell of a person, a bond forms between Hailey and the other slaves. Alyssa and Hailey seem important to the plot, but there isn't really anything that sets them apart as individuals. It seems like if one was gone, the story would continue just fine. When one has a baby, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use it for profit. Spiraling into a deep depression, she hatches a reckless plan to escape and bring as many of the other girls with her as she can – especially the baby. If their harsh conditions take up half of the word count, then this query is fine. However, if the plot entirely hinges on the plan, then you'll want to make this the focus of your query. Chaos ensues and the body count rises. Interesting, but too vague.  Hailey doesn’t flinch. Iwould be better to risk death than continue a life no longer worth living.
I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking. I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. Congratulations! Thank you for your time and consideration. 

I crossed out anything that seemed either redundant or too wordy. Good luck~



#8 trickster71

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Posted 07 September 2018 - 01:19 PM

ATTEMPT #3

Thank you Harlequinwriter. Like the others, you have been incredibly helpful. Thank you! I particularly paid attention to the point that I wasn't focusing on Hailey enough and that the reader doesn't get a sense of who she is or what she is like. I am liking the direction this is going in. For those who commented already, and those who do: I will reciprocate and chime in on your queries if you have ones posted. 

 

 

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, thirteen-year-old Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale.

Hailey is sold to Diamond, a ruthless pimp and drug dealer on Chicago’s south side. After a brutal initiation period, she goes from being an innocent, studious, small-town girl to a cunning, gutsy, young woman, determined to survive. She is told if she tries to escape, she and every member of her family will die a slow, brutal death.

Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is as cheap as a pack of smokes. She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, and Diamond’s vindictive, petty girlfriend who delights in causing Hailey more misery. Her only solace is the bond she forms with the other girls in Diamond’s stable. They all carry the same burden of shame, despair, and fear.

Hailey suffers through Diamond’s attempts to turn her into a product: her name is changed, she is sterilized, and branded with Diamond’s trademark tattoo, yet she reminds herself she is a beloved daughter and sister, and a student who dreams of earning a PhD. When Diamond buys a new girl, who is eight months pregnant, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use the baby for profit. An unrelenting fury consumes her. She hatches a reckless plan to ignite an uprising to liberate as many slaves as possible. Chaos ensues and the body count rises.  Hailey doesn’t flinch. She would rather die fighting for freedom, than live a life worse than death.

I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking. I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Want a more in-depth critique/edit of your query, synopsis, or MS?

Contact me at:  refugeforwriters.com

 


#9 WV Girl

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Posted 09 September 2018 - 06:35 AM

 

I'd much rather work on someone else's query than my own :)

 

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale.

Her abductors sell Hailey and her best friend Alyssa to a ruthless pimp. Hailey doesn’t know what they do with Jeff, her older brother, and fears she may never see him again. She is told if she tries to escape, she will be killed, along with every member of her family.

Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is cheap. Being raped and beaten becomes her new normal. She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, and a vindictive woman who oversees the girls.

As Alyssa mentally deteriorates into a shell of a person, a bond forms between Hailey and the other slaves. When one has a baby, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use it for profit. Spiraling into a deep depression, she realizes she must find a way out of this hellish world and discover what became of Jeff.  It would be better to risk death than continue a life no longer worth living.           

I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking.  Thank you for your time and consideration.

 



#10 WV Girl

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Posted 09 September 2018 - 06:38 AM

Hi Trickster, I am new with this so please bear with me. I copied and pasted your post and made suggestions and will copy it here. I see now I could've done this differently. I hope my suggestions are helpful. Please feel free to critique my query. The Confessional -WV girl. Good luck to you.

 

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, thirteen-year-old Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale.  swallowed in a world of sex trafficking.

Hailey is  Sold to Diamond, a ruthless pimp and drug dealer on Chicago’s south side, she loses her once known innocence and is determined to survive.  After a brutal initiation period, she goes from being an innocent, studious, small-town girl to a cunning, gutsy, young woman, determined to survive. She is told if she tries to escape, she and every member of her family will die a slow, brutal death.

Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is as cheap as a pack of smokes. I like this comparison. She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, and Diamond’s vindictive, petty girlfriend who delights in causing Hailey more misery. I think this sentence is too long. Can you break it down to shorter ones.  Her only solace is the bond she forms with the other girls in Diamond’s stable. They all carry the same burden of shame, despair, and fear.

Hailey suffers through Diamond’s attempts to turn her into a product: her name is changed, she is sterilized, and branded with Diamond’s trademark tattoo. Yet Still, she holds fast to who she is as she reminds herself she is a beloved daughter and sister, and a student who dreams of earning a PhD. When Diamond buys a new girl, who is eight months pregnant, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use the baby for profit. An unrelenting fury consumes her. She hatches a reckless plan to ignite an uprising to liberate as many slaves as possible. Chaos ensues and the body count rises.  Hailey doesn’t flinch. She would rather die fighting for freedom, than live a life worse than death.

 

I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking. I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. Thank you for your time and consideration.



#11 jpfranco

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Posted 10 September 2018 - 11:21 AM

 

ATTEMPT #3

Thank you Harlequinwriter. Like the others, you have been incredibly helpful. Thank you! I particularly paid attention to the point that I wasn't focusing on Hailey enough and that the reader doesn't get a sense of who she is or what she is like. I am liking the direction this is going in. For those who commented already, and those who do: I will reciprocate and chime in on your queries if you have ones posted. 

 

 

Kidnapped from a mall parking lot, thirteen-year-old Hailey Chapman becomes just like the bathing suit in her shopping bag – an object for sale. Glad to see you haven't changed the hook, it's perfect. 

 

Hailey is sold to Diamond, a ruthless pimp and drug dealer on Chicago’s south side. After a brutal initiation period, she goes from being an innocent, studious, small-town girl to a cunning, gutsy, young woman, determined to survive. She is told if she tries to escape, she and every member of her family will die a slow, brutal death. This is all great, except for one thing. Hailey is passive in all this, things are being done to her, for the most part,  she's not doing anything. There are a lot of 'to be' verbs throughout the query. I thought it was more gripping when you showed the scene in the parking lot when she was abducted. 

Hailey’s life is now on the street, trying to get enough cash to fulfill her daily quota. It is a world where human life is as cheap as a pack of smokes. She endures countless indignities at the hands of her clients, her owner, and Diamond’s vindictive, petty girlfriend who delights in causing Hailey more misery. Her only solace is the bond she forms with the other girls in Diamond’s stable. They all carry the same burden of shame, despair, and fear. It's the same thing here, all things just happening to her, and not in an active way, no gripping dramatic scenes. Give us a scene from Hailey's new life that sums up what she has to do: how does she use her cunning and her guts to survive? 

Hailey suffers through Diamond’s attempts to turn her into a product: her name is changed, she is sterilized, and branded with Diamond’s trademark tattoo, yet she reminds herself she is a beloved daughter and sister, and a student who dreams of earning a PhD. When Diamond buys a new girl, who is eight months pregnant, Hailey learns the insidious plan to use the baby for profit. An unrelenting fury consumes her. She hatches a reckless plan to ignite an uprising to liberate as many slaves as possible. Chaos ensues and the body count rises.  Hailey doesn’t flinch. She would rather die fighting for freedom, than live a life worse than death. I love that she's refusing to be broken down, but we need to know how she manages it. She's only thirteen, so she's probably very vulnerable to being broken down by older, tougher, meaner people. Part of the reason I'm having a hard time seeing her fight is that again we have all of these horrible things happening to her, and we don't see her trying to stop them, she comes across as a victim, which she is, but she's more than that, obviously. 

I’M A SLAVE, NOT A SLUT is a 79,000-word contemporary fiction inspired by my outreach work with street-level prostitutes in Toledo, Ohio, many of whom were victims of human trafficking. I received my degree in English from the University of Toledo. My short stories can be found in various literary magazines including Morning Star, The Griffin, and Midwest Literary Magazine. I was nominated for the Micro Fiction Award in 2011. Thank you for your time and consideration.

 

I think you made a good call, taking Alyssa and the brother out of the query. There's only so many words, and we need to bond with Hailey. 

I love what you're doing here, it's brave, writing about such an uncomfortable topic. It needs to continue being addressed, so good luck. I would read this.  

Here is my query, if you have time http://agentquerycon...ce-revised-614/






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