Hello Corry, here are some of my edits. I hope you find them helpful and I apologise if they come across as harsh, that's not my intention :)
Addy is finding her mind just as her family is losing theirs.
After failing to gain a monetary inheritance, Addy is exiled to the countryside.
Exiled to the countryside after failing to gain a monetary inheritance However, Addy's family knows nothing of running their prize, an inherited farm. Fortunately, Addy, training to become a midwife knows exactly what to do (hmm..how does she know how to run a farm from being a midwife?) - a void her father's grumbling, her sister's primping and her mother's 'episodes' by tending to farm animals and woodland creatures. This bit is a little wordy, maybe try something along the lines of: Fortunately, Addy knowledge means she can avoid her family's nagging. There She plies her trade at the farm, while waiting patiently for a chance to return to the city. as does her family to return to the city where she can resume her studies.
When Addy's sister suddenly announces engagement to a local man, Addy is left to care for their mother.
Now Addy's sister, most desperate to return, has announced she’s marrying the last eligible bachelor in town, a widower barber with three sons. The same barber, layman physician, who just deemed their mother hysteric. How devious, Addy believes, that she's now left to become her mother's caretaker as well. But Addy knows her training exceeds this man's diagnosis. She also knows a simple case of melancholy when she sees one and keeps her mother sated with teas and herbs. She realizes her education never really ended and comes to embrace country living. She thinks she'll stay after the other have gone. To be honest, I'm not sure about this paragraph, it's chunky and quite confusing. I'm still not certain about Addy's stake or her what her motives are.
That was before the Kingdom's soldiers came. Maybe combine this with the next paragraph.
Fresh from a clash, they have now beset her with the impossible task of saving their friend, Chris (why is it impossible?). Badly injured and sure to lose his leg, Addy sees the dream of a life on her terms slipping away. But Chris isn't just their friend. His importance hidden from the family (I'm not sure I understand?), Addy's father persuades her that she now does everything to ensure he lives, otherwise they will not. (why?)
Overall, I think it's better than the first version. I see a good story at the heart of it. But I think it's too long and reads more like a synopsis. The wording is a bit confusing and sometimes it seems like the plot isn't overly clear. Something that helped me when I started writing queries was to try and structure the paragraphs. It's your query of course so it's up to you but I try to think along these lines:
Also, just a suggestion: the main character is Addy so the query should really focus on her instead of her family members or sisters. It’s all about her motivations and her stakes that drives the story forward. Having too many characters in one query makes it a bit difficult to read and follow.
- What does the exile mean for Addy?
- What are her motives and stakes? Her goal? Does she want to return to the city? Or does she want to stay? Does she have to choose between the two?
- How does she feel about staying on the farm? Make the reader feel her emotions more and empathise with her so it draws us in.
- Why are the soldiers important to Addy's stake?
Just a few thoughts but I definitely think you're getting there. It's really difficult but you've got this!