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The Medicament Report — (Speculative Fiction)

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#1 epercak

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Posted 11 March 2019 - 01:25 PM

Newest version in Post #8

 

Greetings ________, 

 

         I’d like to introduce The Medicament Report. Complete at 70,000 words, it is an upmarket adult novel with elements of speculative fiction. I’m contacting specifically because ________.

 

When Lily volunteers for a yearlong drug trial, she thinks the free room and board will give her a chance to finally write her novel. Months in, The Medicament’s effects seem mild at best; however, a deep cut on her hand heals almost instantly and causes her to question what she’s signed up for.

 

On a celebratory video call, the project’s CEO informs the subjects The Medicament is working even better than expected. Instead of slowing the aging process, the drug seems to be reversing it entirely. 

 

But something doesn’t add up—youth doesn’t equate supernatural healing power. After confronting the doctors, they admit The Medicament didn’t come from a lab. It becomes clear they are only guessing. Through trial and error they’re harnessing the substance’s potential.

 

As the subjects’ dependence on The Medicament grows, the history of the project emerges, telling a story of deception and the unknown. It’s difficult to know what’s real and what’s not, but one truth is undeniable: this has happened before.

 

 

         Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

         I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

         Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I am happy to provide excerpts, if requested.

 

         With gratitude,

         Eric Percak



#2 Bibliophyl

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Posted 11 March 2019 - 02:37 PM

The first thing that jumped out at me was that your MC completely vanishes from the query after the first paragraph. I find myself wanting to know what the situation you've described means for Lily. What does she have to do that drives the story forward? What does she risk or stand to gain/lose? Is she even the MC? I think it will be a lot more compelling if you dig in and focus on the specifics as they relate to your main character. I hope that is helpful. Good luck!



#3 Joseph Isaacs

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Posted 11 March 2019 - 10:52 PM

Greetings ________, 

 

         I’d like to introduce The Medicament Report. Complete at 70,000 words, it is an upmarket adult novel with elements of speculative fiction. I’m contacting specifically because ________. (tighten this, cut extraneous words. this part the agent will know without you spelling it out and the extra words signals (perhaps incorrectly) that you aren't great at cutting yet)

 

When Lily volunteers for a yearlong drug trial, she thinks the free room and board will give her a chance to finally write her novel. not strong enough for an opening line, where is the hook? Months in, The Medicament’s effects seem mild at best; however, a deep cut on her hand heals almost instantly and causes her to question what she’s signed up for. stakes aren't high, on the positive side though your writing is nice and clear and strong, good job on that front

 

On a celebratory video call, the project’s CEO informs the subjects The Medicament is working even better than expected. Instead of slowing the aging process, the drug seems to be reversing it entirely.  that seems bad. turns you into a baby?

 

But something doesn’t add up—youth doesn’t equate supernatural healing power. cool After confronting the doctors, they admit The Medicament didn’t come from a lab. It becomes clear they are only guessing. Through trial and error they’re harnessing the substance’s potential. that seems easy just confront them and boom the secrets spill

 

As the subjects’ dependence on The Medicament grows, the history of the project emerges, telling a story of deception and the unknown. It’s difficult to know what’s real and what’s not, but one truth is undeniable: this has happened before.

 

 

         Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. formatting of paragraphs seems off, also this paragraph feels a bit dry and off putting to me

 

         I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

         Thank you for taking the time to review my quer (cut the following as they know, check out query shark online, that should help. overall not a bad start. hope my comments are of help) y. I am happy to provide excerpts, if requested.

 

         With gratitude,

         Eric Percak



#4 Stephen G. Bria

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Posted 12 March 2019 - 12:06 AM

Greetings ________, 

 

         I’d like to introduce The Medicament Report. Complete at 70,000 words, it is an upmarket adult novel with elements of speculative fiction. I’m contacting specifically because ________.  I would question the lead in with "upmarket" and "speculative fiction" only due to its redundancy. You compare your manuscript to books in those same categories later. I don't think you need both, and if I had to choose between the two, the direct comparison to already published novels is more specific and provides more information to the agent. 

 

When Lily volunteers for a yearlong drug trial, she thinks the free room and board will give her a chance to finally write her novel. Months in, The Medicament’s effects seem mild at best; however, a deep cut on her hand heals almost instantly and causes her to question what she’s signed up for.  I think the elements are here, but it needs to be rearranged. Start with her cut being healed and then explain the backstory. E.G. She took this drug and this happened. Then the Motive, and then end with the but. . . .

 

On a celebratory video call, the project’s CEO informs the subjects The Medicament is working even better than expected. Instead of slowing the aging process, the drug seems to be reversing it entirely. 

 

But something doesn’t add up—youth doesn’t equate supernatural healing power. After confronting the doctors, they admit The Medicament didn’t come from a lab. It becomes clear they are only guessing. Through trial and error they’re harnessing the substance’s potential. This entire paragraph is bizarre and I don't follow. Who is guessing about what? No one knows where the drug came from? What does final sentence have to do with the rest of what you are saying?

 

As the subjects’ dependence on The Medicament grows, the history of the project emerges, telling a story of deception and the unknown. It’s difficult to know what’s real and what’s not, but one truth is undeniable: this has happened before. Recenter this paragraph on your Protagonist. It's already built for it. 

 

 

         Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

         I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

         Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I am happy to provide excerpts, if requested. Delete literally this entire sentence. You are wasting their time by thanking them for it. And you are already expected to be able to provide excerpts and the entire manuscript-- that's a given. 

 

         With gratitude,

         Eric Percak



#5 kathleenq

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Posted 15 March 2019 - 10:28 PM

Greetings ________, 

 

         I’d like to introduce The Medicament Report, (comma) Complete at 70,000 words, it is an upmarket adult novel with elements of speculative fiction. I’m contacting specifically because ________.

 

When Lily volunteers for a yearlong drug trial, she thinks the free room and board will give her a chance to finally write her novel. Months in, The Medicament’s effects seem mild at best; however, a deep cut on her hand heals almost instantly and causes her to question what she’s signed up for. (what did she think she was signing up for initially?)

 

On a celebratory video call, the project’s CEO informs the subjects The Medicament is working even better than expected. Instead of slowing the aging process, the drug seems to be reversing it entirely. 

 

But something doesn’t add up—youth doesn’t equate supernatural healing power. After confronting the doctors, they admit The Medicament didn’t come from a lab (and it came from where?). It becomes clear they are only guessing (guessing about what?). Through trial and error they’re harnessing the substance’s potential. (trial and error of what? It doesn't seem like Lily is being put through any sort of harmful experiment, which I feel like "trial and error" in medication testing would infer.)

 

As the subjects’ dependence on The Medicament grows, the history of the project emerges, telling a story of deception and the unknown. It’s difficult to know what’s real and what’s not, but one truth is undeniable: this has happened before. Where's Lily in all of this? Who's your main character?

 

 

         Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

         I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

         Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I am happy to provide excerpts, if requested.

 

         With gratitude,

         Eric Percak

I'm really confused about who your main character is and what the stakes are. If she gets supernatural healing abilities, I don't see the downside of this from your query? And if the substance reverses aging, you need a downside for that as well, or is there some other effect that the Medicament is causing that is bad and the subjects have to figure out what it is before it's too late?


Query: Glass Domes


#6 AstrMikeDexter

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Posted 16 March 2019 - 12:59 PM

Greetings ________, 

 

         I’d like to introduce The Medicament Report, complete at 70,000 words, it is an upmarket adult novel with elements of speculative fiction. I’m contacting specifically because ________.

 

When Lily volunteers for a yearlong drug trial, she thinks the free room and board will give her a chance to finally write her novel. Months in, The Medicament’s effects seem mild at best; however, a deep cut on her hand heals almost instantly and causes her to question what she’s signed up for. (I'm curious what Medicament is supposed to do? Is it to heal people quicker? I'm not clear if this side effect is supposed to happen or if it's something strange with Lily.)

 

On a celebratory video call, the project’s CEO informs the subjects The Medicament is working even better than expected. Instead of slowing the aging process, the drug seems to be reversing it entirely. (Ah, I see. I think some of this information could be worked into the above paragraph just give a clearer picture.)

 

But something doesn’t add up—youth doesn’t equate supernatural healing power. After confronting the doctors, they admit The Medicament didn’t come from a lab. It becomes clear they are only guessing. Through trial and error they’re harnessing the substance’s potential. (Lily really should be the main through-line in the query but she seems to have dropped off. Also, I'm getting confused about the Medicament - where did it come from and why are they testing it on people if they don't really know what it does? And who are these people on the project? The last line is also kind of vague.)

 

As the subjects’ dependence on The Medicament grows, the history of the project emerges, telling a story of deception and the unknown. It’s difficult to know what’s real and what’s not, but one truth is undeniable: this has happened before. (This paragraph is vague. We need more specifics. Also, where are the stakes? What does the main character want, what is the main character doing to get it, and who is getting in the way? )

 

 

         Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

         I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

         Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I am happy to provide excerpts, if requested.

 

         With gratitude,

         Eric Percak

Thanks for looking at my query!

 

It seems like you have a really interesting story here! Just a few thoughts and suggestions above.


Any help with my query would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


#7 London C

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Posted 17 March 2019 - 03:01 PM

Greetings ________, 

 

         I’d like to introduce The Medicament Report Complete at 70,000 words, it is an 70,000 word upmarket adult novel with elements of speculative fiction . I’m contacting specifically because ________.

 

When Lily volunteers for a yearlong drug trial, she thinks the free room and board will give her a chance to finally write her novel. Months in, the drug, The Medicament’s effects seem mild at best; however, a deep cut on her hand heals almost instantly and causes her to question what she’s signed up for.

 

On a celebratory video call, the project’s CEO informs the subjects The Medicament is working even better than expected. Instead of slowing the aging process, the drug seems to be reversing it entirely. 

 

But something doesn’t add up—youth doesn’t equate supernatural healing power. After [who? Lily?]confronting the doctors, they admit The [why the article?] Medicament didn’t come from a lab. It becomes clear they are only guessing. Through trial and error they’re harnessing the substance’s potential. ​[I'd condense these last two paragraphs into one] 

 

As the subjects’ dependence on The Medicament grows, the history of the project emerges, telling a story of deception and the unknown. It’s difficult to know what’s real and what’s not, but one truth is undeniable: this has happened before.

 

 

         Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

         I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

         Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I am happy to provide excerpts, if requested.

 

         With gratitude,

         Eric Percak

 

 

As Bibliophile notes, once you introduce your MC, she disappears. It's not clear how she's involved other than being a random subject. Is she taking action to stop this? What's at stake for her  (healing quickly and de-aging don't sound especially perilous)? The premise sounds like it has potential, especially combined with the found document approach, but right now I can't tell what the plot is, nor why you chose Lily to center the story on.


——————

My latest query is here. I appreciate reciprocal critiques


#8 epercak

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Posted 28 March 2019 - 10:45 AM

Greetings_______,

 

            Complete at 70,000 words, The Medicament Report is an upmarket adult novel with elements of science fiction. I’m contacting you specifically because __________.

 

            A cache buried in the Alaskan Wilderness details an experimental drug trial hidden from the public for twenty-six years. Written by one of the four test subjects, Lily, the documents reveal how the once-hopeful study turned disastrous.

            The drug in question, The Medicament, causes Lily not only to feel younger, but also to lose any sensation of pain. After one of the subjects dies mysteriously, The Medicament’s properties come into questionand Lily fears she could be next.

            She confronts the doctors who confess The Medicament didn’t come from a lab. They are experimenting with an undefinable substance, discovered over one hundred years earlier. The facility’s rooms of empty bunk beds and discarded medical equipment suggest their previous trials haven’t gone as planned.

            As her dependence grows, Lily learns the lengths to which the doctors have gone to protect The Medicament. The drug is a miracle, but the doctors are held prisoner to their own discovery, unable to leave until they safely harness its potential. 

            If Lily continues the study, she’ll be risking her life and enabling the reckless experiment. Leaving would mean giving up The Medicament and its transcendent effects. To make matters worse, withdrawal could be even more harmful than The Medicament’s volatility.

            Buried in earth for decades, Lily's journals tell the story.

 

            Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

            I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

            Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I have included the first fifty pages of my manuscript and I am happy to provide more, if requested.

 

            With gratitude,

            Eric Percak



#9 Derrick

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Posted 28 March 2019 - 10:58 AM

Greetings_______,

 

            Complete at 70,000 words, The Medicament Report is an upmarket adult novel with elements of science fiction. I’m contacting you specifically because __________. <put this whole thing where I put the *>

 

            A cache buried in the Alaskan Wilderness details an experimental drug trial hidden from the public for twenty-six years. Written by one of the four test subjects, Lily, the documents reveal how the once-hopeful study turned disastrous. <Try something like this for your second line. "One of the test subjects, Lily, documents how the once-hopeful study turned disastrous." But I'd turn "turned disastrous" into something more specific. Something that sets this novel apart from others.>

            The drug in question, The Medicament, causes Lily not only to feel younger, but also to lose any sensation of pain. After one of the subjects dies mysteriously, The Medicament’s properties come into question, and Lily fears she could be next.

            She confronts the doctors who confess The Medicament didn’t come from a lab. They are experimenting with an undefinable substance, discovered over one hundred years earlier. The facility’s rooms of empty bunk beds and discarded medical equipment suggest their previous trials haven’t gone as planned.

            As her dependence grows, Lily learns the lengths to which the doctors have gone to protect The Medicament. The drug is a miracle, but the doctors are held prisoner to their own discovery, unable to leave until they safely harness its potential. 

            If Lily continues the study, she’ll be risking her life and enabling the reckless experiment. Leaving would mean giving up The Medicament and its transcendent effects. To make matters worse, withdrawal could be even more harmful than The Medicament’s volatility.

            Buried in earth for decades, Lily's journals tell the story.

 

            *Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

            I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

            Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I have included the first fifty pages of my manuscript and I am happy to provide more, if requested.

 

            With gratitude,

            Eric Percak

I really like this and am super sucked in. I think just some tweaking could do the trick.


Would you do me the kindness of critiquing my query?


#10 London C

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Posted 28 March 2019 - 10:59 AM

This is much improved.

Greetings_______,

 

            Complete at 70,000 words, The Medicament Report is an upmarket adult novel with elements of science fiction. I’m contacting you specifically because __________.

 

            A cache [of documents] buried in the Alaskan Wilderness details an experimental drug trial hidden from the public for twenty-six years. Written by one of the four[later you say there were previous tests, implying more than four] test subjects, Lily, the documents reveal how the once-hopeful study turned disastrous.

            The drug in question, The Medicament [unless there's a specific reason for the article, I'd leave that off. We don't write The Prosac, The Tylanol, The Prilosec, etc.], causes Lily not only to feel younger, but also to lose any sensation of pain. After one of the subjects dies mysteriously, The Medicament’s properties come into questionand Lily fears she could be next.

            She confronts the doctors who confess The Medicament didn’t come from a lab. They are experimenting with an undefinable substance, discovered over one hundred years earlier. The facility’s rooms of empty bunk beds and discarded medical equipment suggest their previous trials haven’t gone as planned.

            As her dependence grows, Lily learns the lengths to which the doctors have gone to protect The Medicament[Are they protecting Medicament, the trial, the formula, or something else? It seems this isn't quite right]. The drug is a miracle, but the doctors are held prisoner to their own discovery, unable to leave until they safely harness its potential. [Who is holding them prisoner?]

            If Lily continues the study, she’ll be risking her life and enabling the reckless experiment. Leaving would mean giving up The Medicament and its transcendent effects. To make matters worse, withdrawal could be even more harmful than The Medicament’s volatility.

            Buried in earth for decades, Lily's journals tell the story.[I'd get rid of this line. I don't think it adds much.]

 

            Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

            I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

            Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I have included the first fifty[assumably you mean how ever many the agent has requested—don't send 50 pages unless they specifically ask for that many] pages of my manuscript and I am happy to provide more, if requested.

 

            With gratitude,

            Eric Percak

 

This is so much clearer. The only significant issue I see is there's no indication of why the experimenters can't leave. I'm tempted to say you should just cut that, but it seems that suggests some relevant plot details—like why Lilly can't just leave herself. I'd try it both ways to see if it works without the bit about the doctors not being able to leave or if you can work in some more detail to make the plot even more compelling. Great work on the update!


——————

My latest query is here. I appreciate reciprocal critiques


#11 Faltho

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 12:22 PM

 

            Complete at 70,000 words, The Medicament Report is an upmarket adult novel with elements of science fiction. I’m contacting you specifically because __________ (I've never seen this at the beginning of a query. However, I've also never seen anyone say you can't or shouldn't do it this way.).

 

            A cache (For style here, I'd use some sort of description of the cache. Is it secret, is it hidden on purpose, was it lost on accident?) buried in the Alaskan Wilderness details an experimental drug trial hidden from the public for twenty-six years. Written by one of the four test subjects, Lily, the documents reveal how the once-hopeful study turned disastrous(I think this would be a great place for you to possibly show us this, rather than tell).

            The drug in question, The Medicament, causes Lily not only to feel younger, but also to lose any sensation of pain(Very cool). After one of the subjects dies mysteriously, The Medicament’s properties come into question and Lily fears she could be next.

            She confronts the doctors who confess The Medicament didn’t come from a lab(Is all this found in the cache? If so is someone reading it? I'm a little confused). They are experimenting with an undefinable substance, discovered over one hundred years earlier(Maybe tell me where it was discovered rather than when. I say this because if it comes from a meteor, or cracks in the ocean floor, it's more interesting than just being old). The facility’s rooms of empty bunk beds and discarded medical equipment suggest their previous trials haven’t gone as planned(I think you can delete this sentence. If people are dying, we don't need to see this unless it's has a mystery element to the book and this is where the twist happens).

            As her dependence grows, Lily learns the lengths to which the doctors have gone to protect The Medicament. The drug is a miracle(because it makes you feel young?), but the doctors are held prisoner to their own discovery, unable to leave until they safely harness its potential(Because it's addictive, or is it more like the movie Limitless where the drug kills you)

            If Lily continues the study, she’ll be risking her life and enabling the reckless experiment. Leaving would mean giving up The Medicament and its transcendent effects. To make matters worse, withdrawal could be even more harmful than The Medicament’s volatility.

            Buried in earth for decades, Lily's journals tell the story.

 

            Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

            I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

            Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I have included the first fifty pages of my manuscript and I am happy to provide more, if requested.

 

            With gratitude,

            Eric Percak

 

 

I feel a little bit confused by the end of this. I don't have any idea who has discovered the cache, I don't know who is reading the journal (if anyone at all, or if this is presented to the reader as the journal itself), and I'm not sure if the story is more mystery based, horror based, or psychological thriller. While I think the story itself is probably a very solid novel, this query feels a lot like a mystery box where there are so many unanswered questions and vague hints, rather than a solid plot outline.



#12 HBDiaz

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Posted 29 March 2019 - 01:38 PM

Hi! thanks for critiquing my query - it was very helpful! Just here to return the favor. 

 

this sounds like a really interesting story! I've made a few comments in red, but my main note is that the motivation is a bit unclear. What does Lily truly want here, and what specifically gets in her way? I know that she has to choose between continuing the experiment and leaving, but the gravity of the choice doesn't quite convey. It might also be worth detailing who finds the documents and if there any consequences of bringing these things to light. Just some thoughts. 

 

Greetings_______,

 

            Complete at 70,000 words, The Medicament Report is an upmarket adult novel with elements of science fiction. [I'd put this down toward the bottom, as Derrick suggests] I’m contacting you specifically because __________.

 

            A cache [of what?] buried in the Alaskan Wilderness details an experimental drug trial hidden from the public for twenty-six years. Written by one of the four test subjects, Lily, the documents reveal how the once-hopeful study turned disastrous.

            The drug in question, The Medicament, causes Lily not only to feel younger, but also to lose any sensation of pain. After one of the subjects dies mysteriously, The Medicament’s properties come into question and Lily fears she could be next. [maybe combine this paragraph and the next]

            She confronts the doctors who confess The Medicament didn’t come from a lab. They are experimenting with an undefinable substance, discovered over one hundred years earlier. The facility’s rooms of empty bunk beds and discarded medical equipment suggest their previous trials haven’t gone as planned.

            As her dependence grows, Lily learns the lengths to which the doctors have gone to protect The Medicament. The drug is a miracle, [how so? I'd like a little more info about its intended purpose] but the doctors are held prisoner to their own discovery, unable to leave until they safely harness its potential. 

            If Lily continues the study, she’ll be risking her life and enabling the reckless experiment. Leaving would mean giving up The Medicament and its transcendent effects. To make matters worse, withdrawal could be even more harmful than The Medicament’s volatility.

            Buried in earth for decades, Lily's journals tell the story. [this is a bit repetitive]

 

            Using found documents in the manner of Mark Z Danielewski’s House of Leaves, The Medicament Report combines literary and science fiction similar to Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven and Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

 

            I hold a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Glasgow. I have published in literary journals including: Radii,From Glasgow to Saturn, 121 and Literally Literary. I am active on my blog (www.ericpercak.com) and Twitter (@ericpercak).

 

            Thank you for taking the time to review my query. I have included the first fifty pages of my manuscript and I am happy to provide more, if requested.

 

            With gratitude,

            Eric Percak


H.B. Diaz

 

Critiques much appreciated and returned.

http://agentquerycon...othic-mystery/ 






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Science Fiction

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