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Too Little Too Late - Literary Fiction

Literary Fiction Romance Fiction

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#1 b.katona


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Posted 30 April 2019 - 08:54 AM

Thanks in advance for any input, will try to return the favor :)



Dear Ms. Agent:


In your bio, you have mentioned you are looking for culturally conscious, gritty stories, I hope you will be interested in my novel. TOO LITTLE TOO LATE would sit well on a shelf alongside Donna Tartt's THE SECRET HISTORY and Fitzgerald's THE GREAT GATSBY. It takes place in various European locales with an American protagonist.


Mark Doyle seeks out the help of his wealthy uncle in Strasbourg to escape from his bleak, unemployed life. Working hard to assimilate into the small local expat community, he immerses himself in the wild Strasbourg party scene, where he can have as much of the European experimental music and free alcohol, as he wants, but usually even more.


He establishes a handful of tight friendships. Anne Ward, an English bureaucrat, becomes his self-appointed guide to all things festive and alcoholic. Mark quickly falls in love with her but she insists on celibacy, while maintaining the flirtatious quality in the relationship. Another expat, who befriends him is Leo McCarron, romantic millionaire and connoisseur of nothing.


Mark gets a new chance to complete his quest of escaping bleakness, when an old friend offers him his dream job back in the States. First unwilling, he soon starts to see that his colorful new friends bring with them dangers that might not always be worth the opportunity cost. Anne reveals that she is a victim of sexual abuse and suffers from a serious mental illness. Leo turns out to have invented a criminal scheme, which was once extremely lucrative for him but, disillusioned with his life, he is now looking for a way to break ties with the underworld.


When Anne is committed to a mental hospital and death threats reach Leo, Mark will have to figure out what he is really pursuing.


TOO LITTLE TOO LATE is an accessible literary novel with a word count of 70,000. As stated above, it is set mainly in Europe, in places where I have either lived or visited. Please find the first 30 pages attached, along with a synopsis.


Thank you so much for your consideration.


Kind regards,


#2 mwsinclair


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Posted 30 April 2019 - 10:06 AM

I find myself wanting to get a sense sooner of what the story is. Your query basically describes characters (including setting), not story.


In my view, bring more of the tension of what compels Mark into a hook in the first paragraph. For a query, there's too much synopsis.


I suspect you have something worth telling here, but it's your storytelling that must shine, not simply your character creation skills.

#3 Lindak


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Posted 11 May 2019 - 03:10 PM

What helped me were the questions set forth as - Who is the protagonist? What does he want? What keeps him from getting it? I agree with the comment it sounds too much like a character sketch or synopsis. Make the story sound more compelling with a hook. I've only rewritten mine too many times to count. Even literary fiction must have some suspense, conflict, tension to pull the reader in. Your query can do the same. Will be eager to see your changes. I would like to know more about this underworld and how he got mixed up in it.

Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Literary Fiction, Romance, Fiction

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