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Fantasy/Sci-fi first chapters swap CLOSED

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#1 lnloft



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Posted 30 May 2019 - 08:11 PM

I've gotten the responses I need, thanks!


Hello friends,


I really think I am this close to having my MS and query ready for the submission train again, but as I finish up the last revisions on the end of my MS, I'd love to get a few more eyes on the beginning, just to make sure everything there is tip-top. So I'm looking for one or two people who read fantasy and/or sci-fi to trade the first (approx.) 50 pages of manuscripts. I feel pretty good on grammar et al., although obviously if you see something you can fix it, but I want focus on pacing, streamlined exposition, convincing story elements, that sort of thing. If we decide to trade I can offer a few more specific pointers of things I've tried to fix and that I'm therefore hoping won't be problems anymore.


I don't have a hard timeline, but I'd like to get back to each other fairly promptly, over maybe a few weeks. In theory I can read a different genre, but to be honest I pretty much only read fantasy and sci-fi, so my opinions might not be quite as useful for other genres, but if that's what you have I'll give it a try. Message me if you're interested. My query is down below, just so you have an idea of what you're getting into.




Dear Agent,

It shouldn’t be Lara Kavarin’s responsibility to save the worlds, just because she’s one of the rare people with the ability to pilot an airship through the void between them.

It’s not that Lara’s afraid to stick her neck out. It’s part of her job to cross the void, a kaleidoscopic realm where time is inconsistent and physical distance doesn’t exist, and she’d die before letting her friends come to harm in there. But usually that job means a quiet living with her close-knit crew, scavenging back-worlds for lost artifacts.

And Lara sure as hell doesn’t want to get involved with the Coalition, the worlds’ authoritarian governing body. But politics be damned right now, because it’s help them or watch millions die.

One of the Coalition’s captains, Amerlaine Silver, has gone rogue. For reasons unknown, she stole a ship and slaughtered the other void pilots—all of them. If Lara doesn’t stop her, Amerlaine is going to open the void to the worlds, loosing immortal, eldritch monsters and time-warps that lock innocent victims in perpetual loops.

Lara’s got three days to chase down Amerlaine, infiltrate her ship, and save the worlds. And the void is waiting.

OUROBOROS is a 100,000-word science fantasy that will appeal to fans of Jim Butcher’s The Aeronaut’s Windlass. Thank you for your time and consideration.



Please note I'm also posting on behalf of people who can't sign up, so if I provide a link in the main body of the post, make sure to reciprocate on that thread.


If you have a moment, can you answer a quick query question? http://agentquerycon...stion/?p=361427

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