I'm torn between covering a narrow timeframe in my query or a broader one. Therefore I'm posting 2 altervatives. Please only write comments for the one you think has the most potential.
1. Dear [agent’s name]
Stamnon will break his bonds of indentured servitude and see the world, but not at the cost of his younger brother’s life. Father forces both brothers to tend his sheep high in the mountains, and that stingy ogre won’t even spring for a heeler, though he knows young Kerion is dying of consumption. Stamnon can’t afford to remain righteous like his brother. At first light tomorrow he must steal the years of wages father owes him and whisk his brother to civilization and a heeler.
But Stamnon realizes the fall equinox is the worst night of the year to make plans. It’s when everything goes wrong, especially if it’s your birthday. Stamnon just turned 20, going from teenager to man. However, no one ever told him those born this night are cursed with magical abilities when they reach adulthood--a curse that eventually drives them mad.
A storm sweeps up the mountain, and under the howling wind’s cover, wolves attack. The two shepherds rush to their flock’s aid. But these aren’t ordinary wolves, and here Stamnon’s plan goes awry. Instead of being scared off by shepherds and their staffs, they turn on them. The pack leader, a grey monstrosity, shreds Kerion’s left calf. Stamnon keeps the pack at bay as the two shepherds back into a hill-side ruin--once a temple. Stamnon magically sees the building in all its glory, with its deity standing before him, but as suddenly as it comes, the vision shatters. Wolves are at his brother’s throat. Unless Stamnon can use his newfound magic, or someone rescues them, neither brother will last the night.
With 125,000 words, TAILING SHADOWS is a completed epic fantasy with series potential. Fans of Michael J Sullivan’s AGE OF MYTH will enjoy this. Included is a short synopsis and the first chapter [I’ll change this as needed].
Thank you for your time and consideration.
2. Dear [agent’s name],
Stamnon is miserable as a shepherd, but wolves killing his brother killed and narrowly escaping the same fate isn’t the adventure he seeks. His rescuer is a feared and respected scholar and magician, Nayvee--feared most for the blood-thirsty horses she rides. When she offers to make him her apprentice, Stamnon seizes the chance . His brother would have wanted him to move on.
Stamnon overhears Nayvee say a wolf-shade she’d been tracking bit him in the attack. Its spirit infected Stamnon and will soon possess him. His fledgling magical ability helps him resists the wolf-shade, but it only delays the inevitable. Nayvee, for all her power, can’t stop her ancient foe either, the Lord of Shades. His apocalyptic armies seek mankind’s annihilation for their part in his epoch of imprisonment. Stamnon and Nayvee must kill shades to end their evil, a task requiring an immortal--a god--and only one will do, the king who deserted his pantheon. Together, they chase ancient hints to the lost god’s whereabouts, never more than hours ahead of Mowro’s henchmen.
All the while, Stamnon wonders what wolf-shades and scholars want with a simple shepherd, and why his fate is bound to some lost god. Long after shades turn Nayvee to stone, and the Lord of Shades incinerates the great library where Stamnon might have found answers, he feels himself losing to the wolf-shade within. He must try to kill both the wolf and its lord, with or without a god, or become a shade’s thrall. But Stamnon is no longer convinced the wolf-shade is all bad. It also wants its lord dead.
TAILING SHADOWS is an epic fantasy with series potential, complete at 125,000 words. Fans of Michael J Sullivan’s AGE OF MYTH will enjoy this. Included is a short synopsis and the first chapter [I’ll change this as needed]
Thank you for your time and consideration