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EARTH'S PROTECTORS


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#41 Granite Mark

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Posted 14 December 2011 - 09:57 PM

Here's my two bits...

I did another edit and trimmed a few words from the last version. What do you think? Did I go too far? I need all of your comments.

Dear Query,

Alx Norust needs some of Earth’s big nukes -- and he needs them now.

Like his predecessors Zeus and Odin, (I think you're implying that the classical gods from man's past history are really envoys from the Galactic Councils past looking after mankind through its development - neat idea)Alx is an Envoy for the Galactic Council. His duty is to protect Earth from alien prowlers and keep its people thinking they are alone in the universe until they develop their own interstellar travel.

When Alx learns that a few renegade shipmasters plan to smash their ships into Earth, (are the shipbuilder's examples of the alien prowlers? why do they want to smash the earth?)he has to act fast – but the weapons he needs keep them from reaching Earth are hundreds of light years away. He has one chance -- use the nukes on (from?)Earth (against the shipbuilders?). Now he must figure out how get (to?) them without Earth’s natives discovering that he exists.

My 92,000-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction adventure that should appeal to STAR WARS and STAR TRECK (Trek) fans. Like HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, it portrays three distinct sets of its primary characters.(who are...?)

I am a retired principal industrial writer. I have books published by Unz & Co, several articles in sporting magazines and industrial publications, plus a 20,000-word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Al N



Good idea and well presented. Maybe a bit more on the goals of the shipmasters to destroy earth. :happy:

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#42 Al N

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Posted 15 December 2011 - 12:28 PM

Hi nhnewbie,

Thank you for your comments and the time you took to send them.

Why do the bad-nicks want to crash their ships into Earth? The one word answer is GREED. They are willing to betray everyone around them to get something they otherwise cannot have. In other words, their actions are ‘plot thickeners’ to stir up the conflict.


Al N

#43 Cheryl B. Dale

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Posted 15 December 2011 - 05:37 PM

Dear Query,

Alx Norust needs some of Earth’s big nukes -- and he needs them now.

Like his predecessors Zeus and Odin, Alx is an Envoy for the Galactic Council. His duty is to protect Earth from alien prowlers and keep its people thinking they are alone in the universe until they develop their own interstellar travel.

When Alx learns that a few renegade shipmasters plan to smash their ships into Earth, he has to act fast – but the weapons he needs to keep them from reaching Earth are hundreds of light years away. He has one chance -- use the nukes on Earth's own nuclear weapons.. Now he must figure out how to get them without Earth’s natives discovering that he exists.

My 92,000-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction adventure that should appeal to STAR WARS and STAR TRECK TREK fans. Like HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, it portrays three distinct sets of its primary characters.

I am a retired principal industrial writer. I have books published by Unz & Co, several articles in sporting magazines and industrial publications, plus a 20,000-word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Al N


I'd do away with the dashes except for the one in the hook. If there are too many, they lose their impact. Instead, try using sentence fragments or commas.

I put in a few words you missed and corrected sp of Trek. Also tried to make it clear that he wants to use Earth's nukes against the renegades.

Don't muddy the waters by talking about POVs in the query. And if you give the word count in your query, the agts/eds will assume that it's complete; that's why there's no need to say it.

I wouldn't keep working and working on it now that you've got it this close. Overworking can kill voice and that spark of originality you want to keep. I'd send a few out and see what happens.

This is so much better than your very first version that I can hardly believe it.

Way to go.

#44 Al N

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Posted 16 December 2011 - 11:19 AM

Hi CherylD

Thank you for your comments and the time you took to send them.

I’ll incorporate your comments and go with it. Do I dare send the revised reemission of rewritten queries to agents I sent the flawed queries? Of course, the only bad result is another reject.


Thank you for your help.

Al N

#45 Cheryl B. Dale

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Posted 16 December 2011 - 01:26 PM

Hi CherylD

Thank you for your comments and the time you took to send them.

I’ll incorporate your comments and go with it. Do I dare send the revised reemission of rewritten queries to agents I sent the flawed queries? Of course, the only bad result is another reject.


Thank you for your help.

Al N


Al, agts/eds remember submissions. You can certainly send it, but usually, a rejection on the first query means it's useless to submit another. That's why we polish and polish our queries and then send out to our B-list of agents to see if it'll work or not. If we get nibbles, we send to A-list. If no one bites, the query probably needs revising. Yet again. Groan.

One more thing. Go through your ms pages and make absolutely sure it isn't full of adjectives, adverbs, wases and weres, indefinite words (there, it, later, some, soon, then, etc.) and telling verbs (know, learn, wish, hope, felt, thought, etc.) No matter how good the query, if the pages aren't up to professional standards, they'll still get rejected.

You've worked really hard on this and I wish you the best.

#46 Al N

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 11:37 AM

Hi Cheryl'D

Thank you for your comments and the time you took to send them.

A retired editor for the U of Minn Journal eddited a draft of my mss. I won't say how much red ink she used.


Again, thank you for your help.

Al N

#47 trailerbride

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 01:18 PM

I'm a learner. I hope these notes help. If not, ignore them.

Dear Query,

Alx Norust needs some of Earth’s big nukes -- and he needs them now.

Like his predecessors Zeus and Odin - I like the idea here, but wonder if it really works? If the mission is to isolate mankind, how do we know about Zeus and Odin? What about Loki and Thor? God? Allah? Jehovah? Why don't some people worship Alx?

Alx is an Envoy for the Galactic Council - the root of the word envoy means to send. He is either an Envoy FROM the Galactic Council or an Envoy TO/FOR Earth. Or he could be a Galactic Council Envoy. His duty is to protect Earth from alien prowlers and keep its people thinking they are alone in the universe until they develop their own interstellar travel.

Although you have been trimming, I think this paragraph still takes too long to say what it has to say. If you cut it down, you might have free words to clarify the questions below. Perhaps something like "Alx is an Envoy from the Galactic Council sent to protect and isolate the people of Earth until they develop interstellar travel."


When Alx learns that a few renegade shipmasters - Who? plan to smash their ships into Earth - why?, he has to act fast – but the weapons he needs keep them from reaching Earth are hundreds of light years away. He has one chance -- use the nukes on Earth's own nukes. Now he must figure out how to get them without Earth’s natives discovering that he exists revealing himself.

My 92,000-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction adventure that should appeal to STAR WARS and STAR TRECK fans. Like HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, it portrays three distinct sets of its primary characters.

I am a retired principal industrial writer. I have books published by Unz & Co, several articles in sporting magazines and industrial publications, plus a 20,000-word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Al N


aqc.jpg


#48 Al N

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Posted 18 December 2011 - 01:43 PM

Hi Trailerbride

Thank you for your comments and the time you took to send them.

You made some interesting points I’ll consider before I send this query out.

The definition of envoy I’m using is a person who has the authority to act for a government. In the novel, Alx arrests one alien (Hitler) and offers a treaty with the fleet from another galaxy.

I used Zeus and Odin because they were, among other things, the gods of justice etc. From what I can determine, Zeus fought the War of the Titans about 2000 BC while Odin was here 300 to 400 AD. Back then, Earth’s natives did not understand the implications of ‘not from Earth’.

Galactic and Earth history says why the Council put Earth in protective isolation. When an advance civilization contacts a less developed culture, the less developed society stagnates and becomes dependant upon the advanced civilization. Look at what happened to the natives in the ‘new world’ after the Europeans crossed the Atlantic.

To me, ‘isolation’ implies punishment, i.e., time out. The Council is not punishing Earth; it is protecting its people from marauding bullies.

As CherylD and a few others suggested, I dropped the who and why the shipmasters planned to crash their ships into Earth. No matter who and why, they threaten the people on Earth and Alx has to something about it.

There will be changes. Thank you for your help.

Al N

#49 Cheryl B. Dale

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Posted 18 December 2011 - 03:59 PM

Hi Trailerbride

Thank you for your comments and the time you took to send them.

You made some interesting points I’ll consider before I send this query out.

The definition of envoy I’m using is a person who has the authority to act for a government. In the novel, Alx arrests one alien (Hitler) and offers a treaty with the fleet from another galaxy.

I used Zeus and Odin because they were, among other things, the gods of justice etc. From what I can determine, Zeus fought the War of the Titans about 2000 BC while Odin was here 300 to 400 AD. Back then, Earth’s natives did not understand the implications of ‘not from Earth’.

Galactic and Earth history says why the Council put Earth in protective isolation. When an advance civilization contacts a less developed culture, the less developed society stagnates and becomes dependant upon the advanced civilization. Look at what happened to the natives in the ‘new world’ after the Europeans crossed the Atlantic.

To me, ‘isolation’ implies punishment, i.e., time out. The Council is not punishing Earth; it is protecting its people from marauding bullies.

As CherylD and a few others suggested, I dropped the who and why the shipmasters planned to crash their ships into Earth. No matter who and why, they threaten the people on Earth and Alx has to something about it.

There will be changes. Thank you for your help.

Al N


Yeah, a query doesn't need to tell everything. All it has to do is intrigue an agt/ed into reading more. Pick out the basics and go with them. I think you're doing a pretty good job because this is soooo much better than your first versions, I can hardly believe it.

#50 Al N

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Posted 02 June 2012 - 04:04 PM

Thise reply contains a rewite of this query after several rejects and a day studying the Query Shark blog. What do you think? Is this any cleaner / better?


Dear Query,

Galactic Council Envoy Norust needs Earth’s nukes. … now.

Renegades are trying to ruin a truce he made with intruders from another galaxy by crashing their mammoth spaceships into Earth. He has to act fast; but the weapons he needs to keep them from reaching Earth are hundreds of light years away. He has one chance -- use Earth’s nuclear weapons. First, he must figure out how get them without Earth’s people realizing who he is.

The Galactic Council let his predecessor, Zeus, work openly to dispose of aliens posing as immortal gods. However, parts of Earth’s civilization are now developing space travel; so, Envoy Norust must keep its people thinking they are alone in the universe.

My 88,000-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction adventure that portrays the insidious corruption of greed and accompanying wanton disregard of other beings.


I am a retired principal industrial writer. While this is my first novel, I have non-fiction works published by our military, Unz & Co, sporting magazines, and industrial publications (which includes a 20,000-word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet).

*** as applicable *** As you indicated in your website, my synopsis and first chapter follow as part of this query.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Al N

#51 Cheryl B. Dale

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Posted 04 June 2012 - 01:08 PM

Thise reply contains a rewite of this query after several rejects and a day studying the Query Shark blog. What do you think? Is this any cleaner / better?


Dear Query,

Galactic Council Envoy Norust needs Earth’s nukes. … now.

Renegades are trying to ruin a truce he made with intruders from another galaxy by crashing their mammoth spaceships into Earth. He has to act fast; but the weapons he needs to keep them from reaching Earth are hundreds of light years away. He has one chance -- use Earth’s nuclear weapons. First, he must figure out how get them without Earth’s people realizing who he is.

The Galactic Council let his predecessor, Zeus, work openly to dispose of aliens posing as immortal gods. However, parts of Earth’s civilization are now developing space travel; so, Envoy Norust must keep its people thinking they are alone in the universe.

My 88,000-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction adventure that portrays the insidious corruption of greed and accompanying wanton disregard of other beings.


I am a retired principal industrial writer. While this is my first novel, I have non-fiction works published by our military, Unz & Co, sporting magazines, and industrial publications (which includes a 20,000-word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet).

*** as applicable *** As you indicated in your website, my synopsis and first chapter follow as part of this query.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Al N


Nope, this won't get you any requests IMO. I hate to say it because I know how long and how hard you've worked. Technical and nonfiction writing is so different from fiction that it's like learning a new language. I don't think you've managed it yet.

Words like 'however' and 'while' along with 'trying' and 'needs to' are dead giveaways that craft needs work. Try to lose or contract stuff like that.

If I were rewriting this, it'd go something like this:

Galactic Council Envoy Norust, stationed on Earth, needs its nukes. Now.

Norust's predecessor Zeus openly disposed of aliens posing as immortal gods, but the Galactic Council has decreed Norust must conceal his presence. The Council wants to keep Earth ignorant of other inhabitants in the universe until its space development reaches a higher stage. So when a star fleet first appears, Norust works out a truce to turn them away. Then the renegades take command of the fleet; they intend to crash the mammoth ships into Earth to hide their mutiny.

The weapons Norust needs are hundreds of light years away, but Earth’s nuclear weapons will work. If he can get them. And if he can do it without revealing who he is.

I've written nonfiction for the military, Una & Co, sporting magazines and industrial publications. My 88,000-word manuscript EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a swashbuckling SF adventure.

*** as applicable *** As you indicated in your website, my synopsis and first chapter follow as part of this query.

Thank you for your time and consideration.



Okay, this isn't how you wrote it. I'm not even sure it's how your story goes. But it's a little more concise and easier to read. And in the end, that's what you want. A query that gets to the point, says what it needs to say, and intrigues the agent/ed without making him work too hard at understanding what the story's about.

And as always, this is only my opinion. Use anything you like or ignore it. Hope it's of some help.

#52 Al N

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 09:29 AM

Hi Cheryl D

Thank you for your comments and your time you took to send them. You'v given me some ideas I'm working on. I'll have more, including a rewrite later to day or tomorrow.

My MS WORD grammer checker keeps replacing 'but' and 'so' with 'however'. The examples in AGENT QUERY make extensive use of 'while'???

Sorry for the typos -- I did this without my spell checker

Again, thank you.

Al N

#53 mcorse01

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 03:12 PM

Dear Query,

Galactic Council Envoy Norust needs Earth’s nukes. … now.

Renegades are trying to ruin a truce he made with intruders from another galaxy by crashing their mammoth spaceships into Earth. He has to act fast; but the weapons he needs to keep them from reaching Earth are hundreds of light years away. He has one chance -- use Earth’s nuclear weapons. First, he must figure out how get them without Earth’s people realizing who he is. I think this paragraph needs to be simplified. A lot of detail is presented here, but it's hard to keep track of it all. I would take out the "He has to act fast..." sentence.

The Galactic Council let his predecessor, Zeus, work openly to dispose of aliens posing as immortal gods. However, parts of Earth’s civilization are now developing space travel; so, Envoy Norust must keep its people thinking they are alone in the universe. This seems to present a minor plot that may not actually help in conveying the conflict of your work. I would recommend focusing more on the main character, the central conflict he faces, and hint at the climax of the narrative.

My 88,000-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction adventure that portrays the insidious corruption of greed and accompanying wanton disregard of other beings. This is something you want to illustrate in your query summary, rather than just stating it.


I am a retired principal industrial writer. While this is my first novel, I have non-fiction works published by our military, Unz & Co, sporting magazines, and industrial publications (which includes a 20,000-word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet). I'm not sure if I would include this. Non-fiction writing is something different than fiction writing.

*** as applicable *** As you indicated in your website, my synopsis and first chapter follow as part of this query.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Al N


Good luck!

#54 ColoRODo Character

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 03:36 PM

Thise reply contains a rewite of this query after several rejects and a day studying the Query Shark blog. What do you think? Is this any cleaner / better?


Dear Query,

Galactic Council Envoy Norust needs Earth’s nukes. … now.

Renegades are trying to ruin a truce he made with intruders from another galaxy by crashing their mammoth spaceships into Earth. (I'm lost already- why would they want to crash their ships into Earth...??? He has to act fast; but the weapons he needs to keep them from reaching Earth are hundreds of light years away. He has one chance -- use (remove 'use') Earth’s nuclear weapons. First, he must figure out how get them without Earth’s people realizing who he is. (Perhaps: But getting them without revealing who he is or where he is from is the problem."

The Galactic Council let his predecessor, Zeus, work openly (add 'in the past' here to give the agent and idea of when...) to dispose of aliens posing as immortal gods. In the present, Earth’s civilization are now (remove 'now') developing space travel; so, (remove 'so', add: as a consequence,) Envoy Norust must keep its people (remove 'its people' add "Earthlings") thinking they are alone in the universe.

My 88,000-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction adventure that portrays the insidious corruption of greed and accompanying (remove 'accompanying') wanton disregard of other beings.


I am a retired principal industrial writer. While this is my first novel, I have non-fiction works published by our military, Unz & Co, sporting magazines, and industrial publications (which includes a 20,000-word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet).

*** as applicable *** As you indicated in your website, my synopsis and first chapter follow as part of this query.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Al N


Well Al, hope this helps you a bit...personally, I don't read enuff 'conflict' in the query...I think you need to step it up a notch or two...and remember, this is just my opinion...and I've got lots of 'em...

R-

PS, My Arsenal Code R.E.D. query has been revised and is ready for tearing up in the thread by the same name...post # 20...thanx in advance.

#55 Al N

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 10:13 AM

Hi Cheryl D, ColoRODO character, and Microsed01

I finally purchased SELF EDITING – the novel now has 4000 fewer words. I’ll do another track on ‘while’ and ‘however’.

Thank you for your comments and the time you took to send them.

You made some interesting points and interesting questions.

Part of my premise is that Zeus (about 1800 BC according to one archeologist) was a galactic cop.

The reason the envoy stays hidden is too long for the query. Galactic and Earth history shows whenever an advance civilization contacts a less developed culture, the less developed society stagnates and becomes dependant upon the advanced civilization. Look at what happened to the natives in the ‘new world’ after the Europeans crossed the Atlantic.

As CherylD and a few others suggested, I dropped the who and why the shipmasters planned to crash their ships into Earth. No matter who and why, they threaten the people on Earth and the Envoy has to something about it.


I have room for a few new words and some ideas in changes. Thank you for your help.


Al N


#56 Al N

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 12:12 PM

I think I answered most of your comments. What do you think -- will this work?


Dear Query,


Galactic Council Envoy Norust needs Earth’s nukes. Now.

Overseer’s cronies in an armada from another galaxy are attacking Earth to extend a war they started. They want Envoy Norust to revoke the truce he offered their Star Lord – a truce that would help the Star Lord overthrow their Overseer.

Anti-matter weapons the Envoy needs to keep the attackers from reaching Earth are hundreds of light-years away. Nukes in guarded bunkers on Earth might work; but first the Envoy has to figure out how get them without Earth’s people realizing who he is.

Thousands of years ago, Envoy Zeus routed aliens posing as immortal gods. He departed Earth before its natives understood who he was. Envoy Norust refuses to abandon people he is to protect. So, he works covertly to keep Earth’s natives from learning that he or any other aliens exist.

My 88,000-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction adventure that portrays people building viable civilizations beset by greed and accompanying wanton disregard of other beings.

I am a retired principal industrial writer. All of my publishing credits are non-fiction works published by our military, Unz & Co, sporting magazines, and industrial publications (which includes a 20,000-word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet).

*** as applicable *** As you indicated in your website, my synopsis and first chapter follow as part of this query.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,

Al N

#57 Ammari Sky

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 12:19 PM

Dear Query,


Galactic Council Envoy Norust needs Earth’s nukes. Now.

Overseer’s cronies in an armada from another galaxy are attacking Earth to extend a war they started. They want Envoy Norust to revoke the truce he offered their Star Lord – a truce that would help the Star Lord overthrow their Overseer.

Anti-matter weapons the Envoy needs to keep the attackers from reaching Earth are hundreds of light-years away. Nukes in guarded bunkers on Earth might work; but first the Envoy has to figure out how get them without Earth’s people realizing who he is.

Thousands of years ago, Envoy Zeus routed aliens posing as immortal gods. He departed Earth before its natives understood who he was. Envoy Norust refuses to abandon people he is to protect. So, he works covertly to keep Earth’s natives from learning that he or any other aliens exist.

My 88,000-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction adventure that portrays people building viable civilizations beset by greed and accompanying wanton disregard of other beings.

I am a retired principal industrial writer. All of my publishing credits are non-fiction works published by our military, Unz & Co, sporting magazines, and industrial publications (which includes a 20,000-word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet).

*** as applicable *** As you indicated in your website, my synopsis and first chapter follow as part of this query.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,

Al N


My head is swimming Too much information and I'm trying to get excited but I can't. I have no idea what this is really about. :sad: Too many titles to separate from names. Make it simpler. Use the character's first name and drop the titles, it's just too much.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Don't use semicolons. They stand for absolutely nothing. They are transvestite hermaphrodites. They are just a way of showing off. To show that you have been to college." ~Kurt Vonnegut

#58 Al N

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 04:07 PM

Hi Annoying Penguin,
Thank you for youe comments and the time you took to send them.
What you saw is an attempt to answer comments to an earlier posting. I’ll go bast to my MC – what he sees, what he wants to do etc. It will be a couple of days before I get back at this.
Al N

#59 Al N

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 10:11 AM

This is a complete rewrite following your comments and suggestions in the agent query website. Does this work? Did I go too far? I need all of your comments. Al N

Dear Query,


Subversive agents in an armada from another galaxy attack Earth with their massive space ships to extend a war they started; thus, Earth’s Protector, Galactic Council Envoy Norust, needs Earth’s nukes -- now to prevent the attack from killing millions of people.

The attackers hope Envoy Norust will retract the truce he offered their Star Lord to turn away from Earth. Once enacted, the treaty will give their Star Lord the means to bring down the rulers of their home galaxy. Anti-matter weapons Envoy Norust needs to keep the attackers from reaching Earth won’t arrive in time. Less powerful nukes, in guarded bunkers on Earth might work if the Envoy can figure out how get them without Earth’s people realizing who he is.

My 87,500-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction novel that portrays leaders building viable civilizations beset by greed and accompanying wanton disregard of other beings.

I am a retired principla writer. All of my credits are non-fiction works published by our military, Unz & Co., sporting magazines, and industrial publications (which includes a 20,000 word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet).

*** as applicable *** As you indicated in your website, my synopsis and first chapter follow as part of this query.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Al N

#60 Lia Fail

Lia Fail

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 03:04 PM

These are just suggestions.

Dear Query,

Subversive agents in an armada from another galaxy attack Earth with their massive space ships to extend a war they started; thus, Earth’s Protector, Galactic Council Envoy Norust, needs Earth’s nukes -- now to prevent the attack from killing millions of people. ,but without Earth's population finding out what's going on.... or something like that. I feel your hook needs something more compelling. At first I'm thinking, so if there are Earth Protectors, then what's stopping them from using what Earth has? Like the nukes. Then after the hook I find out the people aren't supposed to know about him or the Council. So I would put that in the hook somewhere. Give some conflict right from the start.

The attackers hope Envoy Norust will retract the truce he offered their Star Lord to turn away from Earth. I'm not understanding who is who. In that sentence, who is their reffering to? Once enacted, the treaty will give their Star Lord the means to bring down the rulers of their home galaxy. Anti-matter weapons Envoy Norust needs to keep the attackers from reaching Earth won’t arrive in time. Less powerful nukes, in guarded bunkers on Earth might work if the Envoy can figure out how get them without Earth’s people realizing who he is. I feel lost. I'm not sure who the good guys and bad guys are. The attackers- bad guys, the Envoy Norust-good guy? the Star Lord and whose Star Lord is he- not sure.

My 87,500-word novel EARTH’S PROTECTOR is a science fiction novel that portrays leaders building viable civilizations beset by greed and accompanying wanton disregard of other beings.

I am a retired principla writer. All of my credits are non-fiction works published by our military, Unz & Co., sporting magazines, and industrial publications (which includes a 20,000 word entry in an encyclopedia published by Dun & Bradstreet).

*** as applicable *** As you indicated in your website, my synopsis and first chapter follow as part of this query.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Respectfully,

Al N

I'm really sorry, but I felt really lost. :blush: Don't give up! Keep trying! :happy:
There is no trick beyond sitting your arse in a chair everyday -Shawn Speakman, Author of The Dark Thorn




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