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THE FRATERNITY OF GREED (literary/commercial fiction)


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#21 shiptastic

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Posted 29 October 2010 - 05:42 PM

Revised From Post #12 Thank you all for your suggestions, it's getting closer.

Dear [Agent],

THE FRATERNITY OF GREED is a literary novel with a commercial feel that takes place over 3 years in between the present day south Texas hill-country and Houston. A protagonist like Mitch McDeere of The Firm rises up to be a star trader in the opulent and morally twisted world of Houston’s energy hedge funds. After his father’s death he discovers a recluse billionaire who gave up his former life to help educate and employ the poor. He must now decide between a life of decadence or service in the vein of Siddhartha.

I am an ex-trader in the energy hedge fund industry of Houston. My unique knowledge of the setting puts me in an advantageous position to write this book. I'm contacting you because I've read that you represent literary fiction authors with a particular focus [insert focus].

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Jeff Shipp
Jeff Shipp
Author of: Massacre in the Suburbs
Available on Amazon Kindle

#22 LKN

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Posted 29 October 2010 - 11:04 PM

THE FRATERNITY OF GREED is a literary novel with a commercial feel that takes place over three years in between the present day south Texas hill-country and Houston.


Hi Jeff,

Instead of putting the actual number "3" in this first sentence, you might want to write it out :)
Good luck!

#23 mosesmallone

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Posted 30 November 2010 - 05:50 PM

Hi Jeff,

An interesting industry, something it appears you know well. 55K words is not quite novel length for me. I think you need to focus less on your bio and more on the story. You want to sell your intelligence and personal understanding of trading, but not to the detriment of story. The story part of your query should be developed more and include a few of the twists and turns that Jordan encounters during the book. I am not sure epicurean if the word you want to describe Jordan's lifestyle. I think it may be too limiting for what you are trying to get at.

Hope that helps.

KGB




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