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Recently Added Posts

  • SnowGlobePhoto
    BLOOD PRINCESS (YA Fantasy)

    SnowGlobe - Today, 07:55 PM

    eventeen-year-old Laura White, princess of Karkonia, has been ordered to murder her older sister, Alicia.  The job should be easy enough (It is jarring to have this here. I am not sure it...

  • K StublePhoto

     Tweaked the end. Please let me know if you think this works and how I can help you. The future of 17-year-old Enu Lachlan and her planet are forever changed when her aeronaut father reco...

  • SnowGlobePhoto
    I Will Fear No Evil-Fiction

    SnowGlobe - Today, 07:45 PM

    I do have a quick question. The way this reads, she had this child at the age of fifteen....is that correct? That might be a bit of a hard sell for many people. I am not trying to sound preachy, bu...

  • VitaCocoPhoto

    Oh, my suggestions are just examples of how you can possibly tweak the sentences. But knowing more information (thank you), I'll go back and redo some of those suggestions. Please take what helps a...

  • Roberto PinchasPhoto
    Manuscript on Microsoft Word

    Roberto Pinchas - Today, 07:37 PM

    You just copy and paste it. Though you should probably e-mail it to yourself first as a test just to make sure the formatting doesn't get screwed up in the process.

  • Roberto PinchasPhoto
    AN ACT OF DISAPPEARANCE (Literary Fiction)

    Roberto Pinchas - Today, 07:35 PM

    I agree with snowglobe, especially about the hook. That's probably the most important part of a query and you currently don't have one.

  • Roberto PinchasPhoto

    Honestly, I can't think of any off the top of my head. I'm sure they're out there but I don't remember reading any. I wrote part of a preliminary draft of a story where something like that happens...

  • Roberto PinchasPhoto

    I think you did as much as you could in the first 250 words of this kind of story (assuming this is the opening, anyway). You'll obviously have to explain a lot of these things later as you go alon...

  • SnowGlobePhoto
    AN ACT OF DISAPPEARANCE (Literary Fiction)

    SnowGlobe - Today, 07:12 PM

    Thought about it some more and I'd go even further. Take the mother and father out. They aren't important for this query. This is really about her sister and her, for the query, not the novel as a...

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